tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11155026353645252612024-02-07T18:02:12.938-08:00Remarkable Sparkling MessHannah Barretthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09453627603756288735noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1115502635364525261.post-40830751458725718992017-02-13T17:30:00.000-08:002017-02-13T17:30:43.881-08:00Food is good, I am great.<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So I started this thing about a month ago that has me feeling the most healthy and body positive I've felt in years. It's called "listening to my body". </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I know that statement is brimming with pretentiousness, but I swear that this is something I had never really done until I started thinking about it. My body has been screaming at me to feed it what it wants and needs for a very long time and I have not so much as glanced over and rolled my eyes at it to at least let it know that I heard it but am SOOOO not listening. I've not only not given my body the love it deserves, but I haven't even been courteous enough to let it give me it's opinion. Turns out, my body is pretty smart, and ever since I've let her have a voice, I've learned to love her so much more, and I've stopped making her feel like absolute crap. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As many of you know, I recently figured out there are quite a few foods/ingredients that were making me pretty sick, and so for the past month or so I have had to change my diet drastically just so I was no longer experiencing daily physical pain equated to the emotional pain experienced while watching a marathon of Nicholas Sparks films. I realized once I actually HAD to restrict my diet for health purposes (yes, I am that annoying gluten free person in the restaurant now), the pain was gone but I was.....starving. Not because there's nothing to eat outside of gluten, but because for years I had been living my life based on my list of good and bad foods, and the good "clean eating" foods list was pretty small. Especially since about 2/3 of what I considered "clean eating" wasn't food I enjoyed eating, it was just foods I have read would help me lose weight, or at the very least, not gain any weight.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Now, following my list of good/clean and "bad foods" worked for a while to keep my conscience feeling good, it made me feel like I was doing what I was "supposed" to so that I would eventually look like I was "supposed" to, but my body wasn't feeling quite the same (nor was it looking any different regardless of sporadic completion of fat burning workouts from pinterest). When I could no longer convinced myself that being hungry would just go away, I would make myself sick when I would finally eat until I was full and "let" myself eat what I wanted, and I was becoming even sicker when I was eating things my body didn't like but I continued to eat....because I was starving. And to top things off, I usually binged at night, so my blood sugar would spike to unimaginable heights and I would lay awake unable to sleep and start my day off exhausted, sick, and with a plan to restrict what I ate for breakfast and lunch to small servings to "make up for it". Not a very good cycle.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Plus, making big lunches for work was something I was not willing to dedicate time to in the evenings after work-- I was way too tired! Little did I know, my lack of nutrients during the day and binging at night was the absolute reason I was tired at the end of the day, not because I was such a hard worker (which obviously I am but I'm a firm believer you should never be too tired to take care of yourself). </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Flash forward to a gluten free, caffeine free, almost guilt free Hannah. An amazing woman who takes a solid half hour out of her evenings to make sure she won't starve the next day at lunch by actually packing a meal with her snacks, and feeds herself when she feels like eating. A woman who thinks about what to eat at meal times and when making the grocery list, not constantly throughout the day. A woman who sometimes eats a salad, sometimes brings some leftover pasta, and sometimes eats poutine when she forgets her lunch and enjoys every single bite without hopping on a stationary bike for an hour after. A woman who still sometimes over-thinks what she's put into her body and has moments where she wishes her hips were smaller or her stomach was flat. A woman who now craves fruits and fresh vegetables when she hasn't had enough and is still thoroughly astounded by this occurrence. A woman who sleeps through the night because I'm not starving and having to eat 3 meals worth of food right before bed!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So listening to my body is still something I'm learning about, but I am so proud of how it's felt so far. Nourishing my body has turned out to be pretty 50/50 with how it feels physically and how I feel emotionally about what I eat, but we can blame my misinterpretation of that on my math skills. I've un-followed all of the guilt inducing "fitspo" on my instagram and facebook and decided to be inspired by my damn self. I try new recipes because I like to cook, not because it'll make me skinny in 6 days. Food is good, but it will not run my life, so I am better-- I'm great. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Enjoy your food, take care of your body, and don't forget to sparkle!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><u>Glossary</u></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>1. Clean eating [kleen ee-ting] (verb): </b>The act of eating nothing with sugar, fat, oils, or salt (nothing tasty or comforting).</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>2. Supposed [suh-poz-d] (adjective): </b>Assumed to be what one is to look or eat or act like in order to accepted by society as beautiful, fit, or healthy. Includes a long list of expectations in regards to shape and size.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>3. Make up for it [mayk uh-p foh-r it] (verb): </b>The act of exercising for long periods of time with the assumption that burning calories will cancel out eating the things you starved yourself of. Engaging in exercise out of guilt for not having time in a normal day to engage in exercise in days past.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>4. Fitspo [fit-spoh] (noun): </b>Pictures and posts of women with the genetics, time, and money to have six pack abs, round butts, and arms with no fat on them. [see <b>supposed</b>]. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>5. Listening to my body [li-suhn-ing t-oo m-eye bo-dee] (verb): </b>A practise involving thinking about how I'm feeling and which foods will maintain or change how my body feels and operates. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>6. Bad foods [bad foo-dz] (noun): </b>Foods that one actually enjoys: high sugar foods, fast food, carb heavy meals, large servings. Utter nonsense. Synonyms include: sometimes foods, night-out foods, FOOD.</span>Hannah Barretthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09453627603756288735noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1115502635364525261.post-42340827363544844302017-01-19T18:44:00.001-08:002017-01-19T18:44:02.552-08:00Why I stand with the anti slut-shamers.<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Slut.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6lnJvsbT4460GrSXk85PGDBk1G7TK6k5Xaw-ocE1Fq0yZRuQU-_OyxzgIYpuB-67PFLtVJvux_ijCmSRNqrxa_tpRIdaQ2NegdxXtAlKBX79cRxppRch0HEdFHhvqSvm1PAAKHEmBigg4/s1600/slut.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6lnJvsbT4460GrSXk85PGDBk1G7TK6k5Xaw-ocE1Fq0yZRuQU-_OyxzgIYpuB-67PFLtVJvux_ijCmSRNqrxa_tpRIdaQ2NegdxXtAlKBX79cRxppRch0HEdFHhvqSvm1PAAKHEmBigg4/s1600/slut.gif" /></a><br /><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Source: http://giphy.com/gifs/think-employers-babykilling-xFFJ8lWqQ7Tuo</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">A word that we all use jokingly here and there when we quote mean girls and real housewives, and I'm happy to say as someone that works in a junior high, a word that is seemingly slowly exiting the average young woman's vocabulary, but a word that still mainly exists out of hatred and hurt. A word that I have absolutely vowed to take the negative power away from.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I already know what some of you are thinking: "oh, this annoying feminazi crap. I've heard it all before! The movement to stop slut shaming is just so women who like to sleep around can feel better about themselves!" Well, I'm here to offer a few different perspectives for you, as someone who has been called a slut a time or two, and experienced just what that does to a woman's life.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The first time I was ever called a slut I was ten years old. Yeah, I'm serious, ten. Like still rocking Lasenza elastic waist jeans and tee shirts that said things like "attitude" in sparkly letters, and getting called a slut. And no, it wasn't a joke. A girl at school called me a slut because I had crushes on two different boys in my class, and when the teacher spoke to us about the incident, I heard something even more horrifying: "well, my mom said thats what you call a girl like her." A girl like me? What the hell does that mean? A girl who wears aforementioned elastic waist jeans? I didn't even have a butt to fill them out! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Ten years old..... yikes. You can imagine how that evolved for me into the sixth and seventh grade when my parents allowed me to "date", which of course at that age meant permission to awkwardly call someone's house phone once per day and stand next to them at recess without actually making eye contact or speaking. I hadn't even kissed a boy until I was in seventh grade, let alone slept with one! But hey, according to many girls and boys in my school, I was a total slut. So I was supposed to feel crappy for having a sexuality? For wanting to form relationships with the opposite sex? Well, I sure did feel crappy. And when someone feels guilty for having a normal and healthy sexuality, it opens a few dark doors.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">At 15, I was still called a slut left and right (despite NOT having multiple sexual partners), so not only did I have that extremely inaccurate reputation with my peers, but other people started to notice. People even tried to hurt my younger sister and tell her what a slut I was, making up a bunch of stories of "slutty" things I'd done. It didn't stop there. Older men noticed. It even got to the point where a much older community member figured he could sexually harass me and not have me tell on him because of the shame I should have felt for being such a slut. Luckily, he did get his. I say luckily, because I know many sexual harassment situations don't end in the bastard getting what he deserves. Especially if the girl is a "slut"; she asked for it, she brought it on. I can tell you as a 15 year old who had had sex once, I sure wasn't asking for a married man in his 30s to proposition me for sexual favours. Nor did I ask for 80% of the cab drivers who drove me home from the bar in University to call me "sexy" just because I was in a short skirt, or my first land lord (who was well into his sixties) to ask if he could come over "for a drink" while my roommates were gone. Or my abusive ex to constantly hold my sexual history against me, reminding me that no one likes a slut and I was lucky he could even stand me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Keep in mind, everyone has a different opinion of what a slut is. My catholic elementary school taught me that liking boys made you a slut (seriously?). My high school taught me that having sex with your boyfriend made you a slut (SERIOUSLY?). I've read articles that say the average canadian woman sleeps with 8 men, some that say 3, and some that say 20. We can't deem a certain way of women embracing our sexualities "bad", when "bad" isn't universal. Because somehow this label is cast on women not only unreasonably, but in a way that permits others to treat them like they aren't human. Sexuality is GOOD. Sex is not bad! It's human! Birds do it! Bees do it! I know you're singing right now! Why the hell is it ANYONE'S business who anyone else has sex with?! IT ISN'T! Even if a woman does have multiple sexual partners-- if she enjoys it why the HELL should that be anyone's problem? It sure ain't hers-- she's having a great time, honey! Shaming women, especially young women, about having and enjoying sex will make them try to hide it and when they are hiding it they can't ask for help making sure they're having safe sex so they end up pregnant or with an STI and DIE. Okay maybe not die, but still..... the shame causes issues, people!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So that is why I obnoxiously call people out for using this terrible word. That's why I will stop you mid-sentence or joke and loudly exclaim "don't slut shame" and let you go back to what you were saying. Because I was slut shamed, and had I not found the confidence to rise above that crap, I could have been in a lot worse situations than men making rude comments and asking for sex. And there are a lot of women I have met in my travels who did end up in those situations. My heart breaks for them, and for the people who have no idea what damage they did with their nasty words. So don't be a part of the problem. Let other women let that freak flag fly! Even queen Meryl is making it her own.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJapGyw0zPClupA3WG9O0F6nnsQ9acSO-BgUR3aqXIdrHvioZo0K7GI14Af48-K2sDl1sLNB1P4moAuqdujIJp_PjGY03uRS0vvg7-_4yykJwC06XFTPTcp3_SF2CsiNeQ8_en5jka7_J6/s1600/slut2.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="170" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJapGyw0zPClupA3WG9O0F6nnsQ9acSO-BgUR3aqXIdrHvioZo0K7GI14Af48-K2sDl1sLNB1P4moAuqdujIJp_PjGY03uRS0vvg7-_4yykJwC06XFTPTcp3_SF2CsiNeQ8_en5jka7_J6/s320/slut2.gif" width="320" /></a><br /><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Source: http://giphy.com/gifs/meryl-streep-its-complicated-jane-adler-Z9hlKehkFDOh2</span><br /><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Oh, and don't forget to sparkle </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>Hannah Barretthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09453627603756288735noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1115502635364525261.post-71633715772935718382016-12-23T11:58:00.001-08:002016-12-23T11:59:56.633-08:00Glitzmas<br />
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<b><span style="color: #c27ba0; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>I'm Baaaaaaaack!</i></span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #c27ba0; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Yes, it's been quite a while, but what better time to give you a glimpse into my remarkable sparkling mess than Christmas!</b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #c27ba0; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Christmas, a time for spending time with the people you love, for giving, for hope and cheer, for bickering, for burning food, for emerging alcoholism. Christmas is my favorite mess of year. Especially as a new homeowner and with a wedding that I'm already planning way too early, this Christmas has been the most hectic and hilarious of all, so I thought this year, I would give a little advice on how to get through all aspects of the holidays in the most sparkling and remarkable way possible. Let's start with the most important part:</b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #c27ba0; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Food.</b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #c27ba0; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>If you do Christmas right, you are bound to gain about 4-6 pounds over the Holidays. In the days leading up to Christmas, try to switch to gin and SODA's (not tonic-- that has calories) instead of cosmos in the evenings. Remember to pace awkwardly when receiving holiday phone calls from distant relatives and be sure to climb up and down the stairs in the process. Pro tip: If you make the phone call, especially in a house full of relatives, you are way more likely to feel awkward and pace around.</b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #c27ba0; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Now, if you're doing the cooking, just watch Jamie Oliver's Cracking Christmas ASAP. As a substitute you could read the Pioneer Woman's website. WARNING: Do not watch the show; her lack of personality and sense of humor is enough to make you never want to look at a panini press ever again. Die all of your cookies pink and buy edible sparkles so that everyone at your Christmas parties this year knows you have a signature brand of unnecessary but undeniably charming.</b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #c27ba0; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Stay away from HomeSense, The Bay, and girl you are not even safe at Canadian Tire. You WILL find expensive adorable Christmas decor and you WILL need to send 12 pictures of said decor to your fiance and he WILL have to threaten to appraise your ring to convince you that you don't need a 12 foot inflatable Christmas cupcake. Pink Christmas Lights, however, are a total need and not a want, so be sure to stock up on about 500 feet of those for indoor and outdoor. Switch out the sticks in the vase by your staircase for more expensive fake snow covered sticks and hey, throw some pinecones in there too. Tacky chic is not a thing and most likely if you bought that horrible glitter garland you thought would be a "funny but classic touch", you'll finally drive by the front of your house one day and realize that it was more like a classic case of Christmas vomit. Put up your tree <span class="aBn" data-term="goog_92595239" style="border-bottom: 1px dashed rgb(204, 204, 204); position: relative; top: -2px; z-index: 0;" tabindex="0"><span class="aQJ" style="position: relative; top: 2px; z-index: -1;">November 12th</span></span> so you can slowly decorate your tree at your own leisure, about 6-8 ornaments per day, shuffled 3-4 times to be spaced correctly. Should you have guests over before the holidays, call it shabby chic. Works every single time. </b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #c27ba0; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Make sure you make a list of all the people you have to spend money on, then stare at it and sob for a good hour. Reward family members who actually told you what they wanted and weren't difficult by getting them a slightly cheaper version of what they wanted because you're a human being with mortgage payments and technically a plywood box wrapped in fuzzy blankets is still an ottoman. Give money to charity in the name of anyone who wouldn't tell you what they wanted because if they complain about that they are immediately a scrooge. Also apparently if you buy sketchy pink gas station wrapping paper sometimes you end up with paper that won't stick to tape and you learn you probably should have just sprung for a couple more bucks at Wal-Mart. Just heard that from a friend.</b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #c27ba0; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>For your inevitable workplace Secret Santa situation you end up in, find out their favorite beverage. Deliver them this beverage, then go with the classically charming board game gift. It's a way to say; "Enjoy some time with your family, and also I am unaware of any of your personal interests."</b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #c27ba0; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Family.</b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #c27ba0; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Who is the joker that decided the way to celebrate the season of giving and love and joy and hope was to cram everyone in to close quarters and make them share a bathroom? Go for many walks, forget things at the grocery store, and be sure to use your newfound food intolerance's as an excuse to sit in the bathroom and scroll instagram. Do full makeup and hair because you need to take a lot of pictures, regardless of what comments your older relatives may make about you being on your phone and leaving glitter wherever you have flipped your hair; everyone will enjoy those memories for years to come, even if it's just a blurry picture of your cousin shotgunning a beer on the deck. And for the sake of the season pretend you all share the same political views. Please. </b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #c27ba0; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>Your attitude.</b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #c27ba0; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>The Holidays, most importantly, are a time to be grateful. The fact that you have a house to decorate, food to eat, money to give gifts, a family to spend it with....these are all things that not everyone has. It it so important that no matter how annoying your relatives are or if your mom burnt the brussel sprouts (seriously why are you upset? That's the worst part of the meal) or your coworker got you a fruit cake, you remember you are so fortunate that you are participating in the season in any way. Be happy and grateful, and for god's sake don't forget to sparkle! </b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #c27ba0; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>xox</b></span></div>
Hannah Barretthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09453627603756288735noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1115502635364525261.post-20075003205665183412016-09-11T12:46:00.001-07:002016-09-13T17:40:00.263-07:00Mental Health<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">A lot of people asked me to write this post a really long time ago, and I've been struggling with it ever since. I'm thinking, <b>"Do I really want people to know how I've struggled? What if people think this is a cry for attention? What if no one believes me? W<i>hat if people think I'm a bad social worker</i>?"</b></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">and then I realized.....that's why I need to write this post. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I hear so much that mental health "is viewed differently these days" and that we are "conquering stigma".... yet people still feel like they can't talk about mental health and there is very good reason for that. Society knows depression and anxiety are extremely common, yet we tell people to "get over it", "just find something that makes you feel good/calm" or tell people they "don't really have it that bad". We know domestic violence is extremely complex yet we still shake our heads at the women who "don't just leave". We raise funds and awareness for veterans with PTSD but forget that other trauma survivors are still at war. We tell anyone who talked about suicide and didn't do it that they're "crying for attention". We tell kids getting bullied to "just ignore it" and wonder why they kill themselves or self-harm. Mobs of people speak ill of anti-depressants and the like and guilt people for doing what they can to feel better.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Yeah, and it's great we have #BellLetsTalk, but today I'm going to say thanks for your one day per year of 140 character mental health stats, and how about #LetsKeepTalking.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I have dealt with and still deal with my share of mental health challenges since I was a teenager, and I was extremely fortunate to grow up in a household where I was made to feel that things like depression and anxiety were normal and manageable. But for me, that sense of normal stopped every day when I walked out my front door. My "friends" told the whole school about my medication, and people whispered behind my back about how I was crazy or obsessed with my ex. Friends quickly stopped trying to hang out with me because I was a "downer". Teachers became frustrated with my lack of concentration or my superstar ability to bomb a test 100% of the time, even if I was doing well in class. No one made me feel normal. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And you know what? I'm not angry. How could people make me feel normal if they didn't understand what I was going through? How could they relate if they had no idea what to relate to? And how could they ever learn if no one feels like they can talk about it enough to teach anyone? They couldn't have. And that's okay. That's what made me a person who made it my life's work to fight for people who feel trapped and hopeless. But it did not feel good. It felt lonely, and angry, and dark and cloudy. And that wasn't a choice. What I chose to do was find a way to start feeling better, and when I slipped up and had a bad day, when the days were still cloudy no matter how hard I tried, that wasn't a choice either. </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">That's probably my favourite thing people say about mental health-- that it's <b>a choice</b>. Just go get some sunshine on your face and choose to have a good day. Just like if you're diagnosed with cancer you can just go on a nature retreat and come back and you're cancer free, right?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I hate to sound rude and sarcastic, but I want to stress the contrast here. Yes, an element of choice lies in taking the steps to be well, but no one who struggles with mental health, with any health in general, <i>chose</i> to be in the position where they have to take those steps. Lots of people don't always have to choose to be well, they just feel it, and that's where the misconception lies. If you've never had to make that choice, you probably figure it's as easy as you feel, and that totally makes sense. But no one wakes up one day and says "I would really really like to feel like I can't get out of bed and no one likes me today-- that will be great. Then tomorrow I'll schedule drinks on the patio with Jill." If someone thinks I chose to watch my mother get run over in front of me and chose to have trauma issues and flashbacks and control issues for the 4 years following, they must be into some weird masochistic crap in the bedroom, because I can't imagine anyone choosing that pain (but hey, whatever floats your boat, queen). If someone thinks I chose to be in a domestic violence situation, and I now choose to struggle in my relationship with my current incredible, loving boyfriend because of trust issues from that terrible past situation, they are very very wrong. I did not choose to feel the way I feel about the things that have happened to me in the past, nor did I choose to be anxious or depressed as a teen. But I do choose to do something about it every day, and today I choose to speak out and give courage to those who feel that they can't make that choice.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So let's answer those burning questions from before I chose to write this entry.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Do I really want everyone to know how I've struggled? </b>The people who love me are proud of how far I've come, despite what I had to go through to get here. I love myself and am proud of myself too, and I wish at the time of going through every time I've felt down or unhealthy I could have read something like this to know that <i>everyone struggles: it's just a matter of knowing when you're struggling</i>. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>What if people think this is a cry for attention? </b>I cannot change what people think, so to those who think I want attention, sure, go ahead and think that. It took a lot of courage to write this post, but I can understand that someone who hasn't lived my life might not get that. I didn't even want my own family to know that I felt this way for years, but I've realized that talking about it not only helps me, but inspires others who may feel afraid like I did. And maybe they aren't quite wrong: I'm here to give attention to the people who are feeling alone and messed up and completely hopeless. I'm crying out to bring attention to the "conquered stigma" that has a long way to go. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">......Though really if you'd like to give me attention go ahead and like some of my recent selfies I am KILLIN' IT lately. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>What if no one believes me?</b> That's alright. Even the people who know me and love me would probably rather believe I haven't been through some of the things I have. So would I! But as someone who is part of this global movement to create change, especially regarding mental health and stigma, I like to think about which side of the issue I'd be on if I told someone I don't believe the problem exists.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>What if people think I'm a bad social worker? </b>They're wrong. I take care of my own mental health before and after I help someone to take care of theirs. I do not let my own experience solely dictate my practise, and all it has done is help to improve my empathy and my insight. I know that everyone experiences life differently, and not once have I assumed I knew how to help a client because I understood their experience; I know I don't. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Like I said, I truly believe everyone is a little messed up in some way, some how. It's just a matter of accepting what makes me messed up and embracing and managing it. That's what I'm doing, and I hope to inspire many others to do the same, as well as help the people who have never struggled with their mental health to understand mental illness a little better.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This song is the song I have listened to a lot lately, and it speaks to me so much about my choice to face who I am and learn to manage what makes me want to turn away.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Take care of yourself, and take care of each other! Oh, and don't forget to sparkle. </span></div>
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Hannah Barretthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09453627603756288735noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1115502635364525261.post-75234518500905487822016-08-11T21:41:00.003-07:002016-08-11T21:44:29.903-07:00Home Is Where the Mind Is<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">My dear readers..... I have no excuse. Well, I have a lot of them, but I won't go there. Except I started my career and whatever BUT THAT'S TOTALLY JUST WHATEVER NO EXCUSES......also moving home. Ah, home, what a great topic for this week's blog. I am on fire already.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There's been a lot of talk of "home" lately. I moved <b>home </b>until I can move into my very first <b>home </b>(that I own. Yeah. I know. Who let that happen) and left Calgary, a city that for five years I also called <b>home. </b>Home is a weird word for me, and it has always had a heavy meaning. It took several years before I called Calgary home because I felt like that was a betrayal to where I was from, and as much as my teenage self wanted desperately to forget my home town, I quickly became afraid to forget my roots when it was actually time to leave. The day I forgot to mention I'm from a town with the largest bronze horse and rider statue in the world was the day I really lost myself. Ok, not really, but this week I wanted to tell you a story about what my home is. Nelly Furtado, I'm talking to you, you free spirit.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">A couple days after I moved back in with my parents, my mom played me a song called "The House That Built Me" by Miranda Lambert. Yes, I'm a bit behind on my country music, give me a break. But get this-- I started <i>BAWLING</i>. A nice girls day out for a shopping trip and I am ugly crying my mascara onto my shirt. And it wasn't because of my fond thoughts of the Ponoka Stampede or Superfoods closing down, oh no. I started thinking about the very first place I ever called home; I started to think about our farm. The tears were definitely welling at the mention of "her favourite dog buried in the yard", and then did those tears start strutting right down my face when I heard:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>I thought if I could touch this place or feel it, this brokenness inside me might start healing. Out here it's like I'm someone else. I thought that maybe I could find myself.....</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And that my friends, no joke this time, was when I realized I had forgotten to feel my home. With the mortgage papers and the house insurance and the time sheets and the never ending to-do list for my (hilarious yet genuine) attempt at preparing for adulthood I had completely forgotten to connect with who I was and instead was primarily defining myself by what I was doing. I've been excited, yes, but I've also been extremely overwhelmed and kind of lacking in the "taking care of/being myself" department. I'm pretty sure that for the past couple of weeks if I was asked to tell anyone about myself I would have started reciting my policy and account numbers instead of telling you about my love for music, my obsession with the colour pink, and my childhood playing outside until the farm yard light kicked on. There once was a time where the first thing I would tell someone about myself was where I was from-- where my home was. Luckily, the goddess of emotional wisdom Ms. Lambert slapped me in the face with those sappy lyrics and I remembered just exactly where that is. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Yes, I do actually drive by my old house all of the time, and yes, I've thought about asking to just walk around a bit and sit on the swing set my Dad and Grandpa and Uncle built me that's still standing there. But I don't need that to feel my home. My home isn't what's under my feet, it's what reminds me where I come from that makes me feel like there <b>is </b>something under my feet. Home is the memories from the various other places we called home, too. It's my mom's favourite recipes and hearing my dad's laugh and dancing in the car with my sisters and seeing my brother in law's smile. It's the smell of my boyfriend's parents house and the way he looks at me. It's watching TV on the couch with my best friend. It's a canola field when the sun is going down. Soon, it will be the smell of my very own home. It will be the drive into my garage and the walk into my back door. The point is, I have to remember the things that make me up to feel whole. And those things, those memories, those places I come from and the feelings they give me, that's home.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So I drove out to see my very first home tonight, and on the way I stopped to take a breath (and a picture with my phone) and remember who I am. So now, as I sit here writing to you, I feel right at home.</span><br />
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Thank you for reading, for your patience, and for being a part of what makes me feel at home. Don't forget to sparkle!</div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>Hannah Barretthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09453627603756288735noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1115502635364525261.post-34133184912561095722016-07-14T04:12:00.002-07:002016-07-14T04:12:47.088-07:00Not So Guilty Pleasures
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I’ve never really understood the concept of “guilty
pleasures”, then again I’ve primarily experienced life in a world where videos
of grown men singing and dancing to Ariana Grande and women in vans trying on
Chewbacca masks get millions of views and comments like “oh you go girl!
Express yourself! Go on with your bad self!” Plus, for some reason we let bronies be a thing (if you have the not at all guilty pleasure of not knowing
what that is, spare yourself and don’t look it up) so I’m not really sure that
we are guilting many people out of liking much anymore. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The concept of not being “allowed” to enjoy something based
on who you are and what you are “supposed” to like doesn’t really take for me; I
don’t allow any “supposed to” ‘s in my life for that matter, because nobody
tells me what should make me happy except me. It baffles me that people are
still made to feel like it’s weird to like anything (okay maybe except the
bronies) in this century, but I understand not everyone has been freed from the
unnecessary guilt and shame from society at large….so here I am to change the
world one apparently odd interest at a time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I am usually the first one to make fun of the extremely
popular rambling list format of writing that appears all over my social media
lately, but this week I’ve come around to see the merit in writing that
way…..kind of. Here is my list of Not-At-All-Guilty Pleasures, or as the very
popular entertainment websites would put it;<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The 12 things I like and do not feel bad about whatsoever
that I may not be supposed to like by traditional standards NUMBER 7 WILL SHOCK
YOU and I've included relevant gifs …..list.</span></b><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>1.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;">
</span><!--[endif]-->Pop Music</b></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue';">I'm primarily into indie and alternative rock music both to listen
to and to sing/play, so my friends are usually quite horrified and surprised
when I throw on Drake's "One Dance" or only want to listen to
"Work" by Fifth Harmony on repeat while we get ready to go out. I
don't care if it's an intricate melody and I especially don't care that the
lyrics aren't a modern contemporary classic, it makes me want to dance and
liking one genre of music does not mean I have to sign up to hate another. In the same vain....</span><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcovBZ05TH0Pt3pW1ACtH7WjBA2G3W4lrlCFDtyE-KnQ8MQcJQd8nJv_j-lBZ_Y8uyT1E5ezcomBBy4cU3J7VYke5VyfcTAkN37JjgsW80SxifvatbHplDqYOrp5sSnl7sGryB3ED_r9j3/s1600/dance+gif.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="179" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcovBZ05TH0Pt3pW1ACtH7WjBA2G3W4lrlCFDtyE-KnQ8MQcJQd8nJv_j-lBZ_Y8uyT1E5ezcomBBy4cU3J7VYke5VyfcTAkN37JjgsW80SxifvatbHplDqYOrp5sSnl7sGryB3ED_r9j3/s320/dance+gif.gif" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">Source: http://giphy.com/gifs/sistersmovie-maya-rudolph-sisters-movie-3o8dp0pU36MUdfGjjq</span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>2.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;">
</span><!--[endif]-->One Direction </b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You better believe I own One Direction merchandise
(calendar, shirt, lip gloss), sing at least 5 One Direction songs to my
boyfriend on any road trip, and cried my eyes out when my parents gifted me
tickets to the One Direction concert on Christmas of 2014. I don’t care who
their target audience is, I have been targeted and destroyed by their catchy
boppy songs and will never apologize for that. </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>3.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;">
</span><!--[endif]-->Creeping Hometown Instagram Accounts</b><br /><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I know for a fact I am not alone on this
one, so let me free all of you fellow creepers from the shadows. I literally
could write a list of 10 people’s pages I regularly look at but don’t follow. I mean, I don't know them well enough to follow them, I just know of them, and now know all of their favourite songs, friends, and staple wardrobe items. I am always terrified I will “meet” one of these girls for the first time in
person and say, “your makeup looked flawless on June 23<sup>rd</sup>”.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>4.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;">
</span><!--[endif]-->Not liking going to the gym</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: black;">I hate exercise. It is not fun. It is hard and sweaty and make it
so that I cannot breathe well. Side note: what is the deal with everyone
thinking spin is fun? I went once and it's like an even sweatier club where
your thighs are on fire and some crazy person with a microphone was yelling
"I SEE YOU!" when I would stop and try to figure out what the hell
everyone was doing with their arms and legs. I know that a young lady my age
"should" exercise often and go win the cross fit yoga spin soul
marathon challenge but I don't because my idea of being active is going for a
nice long walk a few times per week, not lifting heavy things or not getting to sit whilst riding a bike. Also on the same note;</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCX6zTK8NF9JORub7WfsKr5UidGzDOiIBq6tHWeoHPzHuE387p9TvnQ_h-1jTy5qW7cyTcriOTfW7jKYnCChyphenhyphenPjtRdM8zWyAlKRfNC9bii8A9uxDznWBr4JcHJq3Nu6ktGz9oslfcgqOve/s1600/eat+gif.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCX6zTK8NF9JORub7WfsKr5UidGzDOiIBq6tHWeoHPzHuE387p9TvnQ_h-1jTy5qW7cyTcriOTfW7jKYnCChyphenhyphenPjtRdM8zWyAlKRfNC9bii8A9uxDznWBr4JcHJq3Nu6ktGz9oslfcgqOve/s1600/eat+gif.gif" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">Source: http://giphy.com/gifs/funny-meryl-streep-spaghetti-lJKxFzXm0eC9G</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>5.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;">
</span><!--[endif]-->Loving Carbs</b></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue';">Like, all I seem to read or hear about lately is that carbs are the devil
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to cut carbs out of my life to be healthy. Have you ever had a carb-free cake?
Does literally anything that tastes good not contain like 50g of carbohydrates?
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>6.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;">
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<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue';">Every time I tell someone that I do this they get really sad for
me and seem like they need to fight every urge not to pat me on the back and
say "you're not alone". No I am not alone but that doesn't mean I'm
not allowed to like doing things alone. I am not weird for not wanting my friends
to come to the bathroom with me and I am especially not weird for liking solo
shopping trips here and there. Do you know how much easier it is to just do
what you want now and then without having to have someone go with you? I want
to go see that WWII history flick but no one will go with you? Problem solved,
my friends. I go by myself and then there's no one to judge me for all of
the extra candy I brought in my purse. I don't even want to know those macros.</span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>7.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;">
</span><!--[endif]-->Doing that thing where someone asks if I’ve seen
a movie and saying “yeah” hoping they move on from the conversation but then
they don’t and I have to keep pretending I’ve seen the movie but my life is a
total lie.</b></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue';">I have no idea why, but I do this so much, and I almost then
challenge myself to see how much I can pick up about the movie just by what the
person says about it to me. It's a real test in active listening, and I like to
pretend it keeps my counselling skills sharp, but I have a feeling it won't
count for my Social Work credits. The only person I will not do this to is my
Dad, because he has incredible movie taste and if I say I haven't seen it he
usually shows it to me and it becomes a new favorite of mine. Otherwise, there
is a huge chance I haven't seen the film you're talking about and so far no one
has ever been able to tell!</span><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>8.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;">
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<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue';">When I started wearing makeup (which was January of this year, I
kid you not) I was so worried about making sure it "didn't look like I had
makeup on" because I heard so many girls and guys saying so much about how
girls look better with less makeup o" or that girls who liked to
wear a lot of makeup were "cake faces". Well, I guess you better
start calling me Buddy, because I am now a cake face <i>boss</i>. The more
I have learned about makeup the more fun it has become for me and the more I
love looks that require people knowing I have makeup on. I am over the nude
eyeshadow and single coats of mascara, it's time for cut creases and filled in
eyebrows for days. I am not sorry for loving to enhance my beauty.</span><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDvUajoJq2qqYWfslj9VfBAOvtBuZLHdMBGh1DBOrCAEs17iC-Pe9PMQCoOEKh_PnV6Hk4XmB9rmVfLJzYUrJ_TOVWm9FrmwDd9i_zGzHVZ-ax8za33djURrR8ZnS7fNu78iRgt2Tcb7xw/s1600/makeup+gif.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="160" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDvUajoJq2qqYWfslj9VfBAOvtBuZLHdMBGh1DBOrCAEs17iC-Pe9PMQCoOEKh_PnV6Hk4XmB9rmVfLJzYUrJ_TOVWm9FrmwDd9i_zGzHVZ-ax8za33djURrR8ZnS7fNu78iRgt2Tcb7xw/s320/makeup+gif.gif" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;">Source: http://giphy.com/gifs/CsJm6FJQeBTSo</span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>9.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;">
</span><!--[endif]-->Pretending I’m in a music video </b></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue';">This presents itself in one of two fashions, but always when in a
car. The first being that when a song I like comes on and I am in the passenger
seat, I will lip synch, throw my head around, somehow shake my ass even though I'm sitting, and do dramatic reaches to the
drivers of the cars beside me, humiliating the driver of my own car. It is an
absolute riot and sometimes the drivers in the other car are just as in to
Ludacris as I am. The other way I like to do this is when it's a really slow,
serious song on, and either as the driver or the passenger, I slow all of my
movements down and gaze meaningfully ahead and out my windows as if the lyrics
are directing my soul. It feels amazing, and I know I'm not the only one that
does it!</span><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>10.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span><!--[endif]-->Terrible
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<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue';">Do not even try to tell me you don't think Gwen Stefani wore it
better than Lorde, I mean look at the percentages, she won by a landslide. I look through every single "Who Wore It Better?" and seriously consider that question as if my opinion matters, and then I usually give it aloud, regardless of being alone. I read all of the excerpts on celebrity weddings and feuds, and then I look in the next one to see the same stories and find the differences. For
some reason I always save these gems up for when I'm in an airport but you best
believe I am never bored on even the longest of flights when I have all of the
trash mags to go through. Like did you see Leo DiCaprio running through the
ocean with a water gun? Celebs! They really <i>ARE </i>just like me!</span><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue';">Tacky? Maybe. Illegal? Well it better not be if I just paid $120
to sleep on a bed no better than mine at home and seriously how cute are those
little ketchup bottles? This may be the reason they no longer give you robes in
hotel rooms anymore and for that I apologize, but I will never stop hoarding
hotel shampoos and condiments for as long as I live. Nothing feels more
exciting than checking out of a hotel with all of that freedom weighing down my
purse. "Did you enjoy your stay?" Oh, you bet I did. To the <i>fullest, </i>Dennis.</span><span style="font-family: Times; font-size: 10.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVKUwf900-3z2QM7UfSiBcIFlWoYjik5EHNUQJylSYZuK5u6tPsXPNmV_2efzBl3OUTajQlSjt_FzCo2fVlSqwfsFf7uWPot_ys3PhCUNk5DLrNshgspqb7G-_MqUY7nbxHmQlDvGEi6Eb/s1600/cry+gif.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="220" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVKUwf900-3z2QM7UfSiBcIFlWoYjik5EHNUQJylSYZuK5u6tPsXPNmV_2efzBl3OUTajQlSjt_FzCo2fVlSqwfsFf7uWPot_ys3PhCUNk5DLrNshgspqb7G-_MqUY7nbxHmQlDvGEi6Eb/s320/cry+gif.gif" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">Source: http://giphy.com/gifs/rupauls-drag-race-rupaul-6h8NVeit0v10k</span></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>12.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span><!--[endif]-->Crying</b></span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue';">I love a good cry, and not so coincidentally I cry about a lot of
seemingly not-sad things. Sad old man on TV? Open weeping. Ducks being cleaned
with dawn dish soap? Bawling. Someone gives me a particularly touching
compliment? Dramatic mouth cover. Marriage proposal on youtube? Boyfriend
thought my lung had collapsed when he heard me from the other room. I also
totally do that thing where I start crying and I'm like "oh boy here comes
a good one let's think of ALL OF THE CRYING THINGS" and just start sobbing
about anything from a fight with my mom when I was 14 to the fact that otters
hold hands when they sleep. I am so over how being a "cool" or "strong" woman means you have no feelings; if I'm not cool then why do I have all of these miniature shampoos in my purse? And in case you're worried about this conflicting with my love of make-up, I do not wear waterproof mascara because I'm a champion diver, girls. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue';">There is too much going on in all of the other aspects of my life for me to be worried about what I enjoy, too. If I was worried and guilty and secretive about the things I liked, I don't think I'd have the attention span to like much of anything. </span><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue';">When I think about how many times I felt connected to someone or something just by hearing, "me too!" I wanted to give you that "me too" as you read, even if it's one just to keep to yourself. Thank you all so much for reading, please don't forget to suggest a mess, and of course, don't forget to sparkle!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue';">xox</span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Hannah Barretthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09453627603756288735noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1115502635364525261.post-64766682041026876372016-07-07T04:21:00.000-07:002016-07-07T04:32:43.195-07:00Write for Assistance<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Hello, my darlings! Ugh, kidding, I have a strict rule that
I will never call anyone “hon”, “sweetie”, or “darling” until I am at the age
where I start dressing like Queen Elizabeth II (except with more feather boas
and less gloves). I apologize for not writing lately, but let me tell you, my
life is the biggest sparkly mess it has ever been. It’s become more like a big
glitter cloud, as if every contestant ever on Rupaul’s Drag Race has walked by
me in a line and each given me their best hair flip each; absolutely fabulous,
but still a bit hard to see and breathe at the moment.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I wanted to write this week about house hunting and how I’m
totally handling it and just kicking all kinds of ass, buuuuuut unfortunately I
still haven’t found the house. Then I wanted to write to you about my tips for
handling the stress of all of this rapid adulting, buuuuuut so far my only tips
are cry, hug boyfriend, and eat ice cream. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I have no idea what to tell myself, let alone what to write to inspire and provoke you lovely readers, so I
thought that this week might be a good time to talk to myself instead. Sounds a little ridiculous for someone who wants to have a lifestyle and advice blog, but I think you'll see why these notes proved helpful. Without further exhausted night-shift ramblings, here are my notes to myself.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Dear 5 year old Hannah,<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>First of all, those purple OshKosh B’Gosh overalls you wear
are amazing and as far as I'm concerned, you slay Kindergarten. I want to warn you, you're about to be totally blindsided: In about a year you’re going to get another little sister, you
won’t see it coming because you're obviously much too busy with first grade and riding the bus on your own all of that grown-up stuff, but I promise you it turns out even better than only having
one. Plus, she never ends up conning you out of your toys like the other one. Try not to worry so much about being the oldest kid and growing up fast—you
just keep enjoying your Disney VHS tapes until they fall apart and playing house with your sisters.
Trust me, in less than 20 years you have grown up a little faster than you
bargained for, and unfortunately we don’t live in the life-sized version of our
pink Barbie RV (we’ll get there). Don’t change a thing, kid: you keep right on
living and loving being 5. In as little as 5 more years you’re going to miss your
life on the farm so bad, so <b>keep playing, keep that goofy crooked smile on
your face, and never stop saying “I love you” before you go to bed. </b><o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Love, you.</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Dear 10 year old Hannah,<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>I’m very sorry to inform you that your wardrobe will later
become something you laugh pretty hard at, but for now, you go girl. You rock
that clip-on tie and t-shirt combo, you little punk chique wanna-be. Dry your
tears and know that just because you aren’t popular at your new school doesn’t
mean you aren’t fabulous—you’re going to grow up to have friendships that way
out-do anything you see in the movies. Just keep having fun, even if it's with one person. Enjoy the opportunity to meet new people because in a year when yo go back to visit Clive school it's totally awkward and you miss your Ponoka friends. Be
proud when you skip grade six in two years, and ignore the kids that try to
take that moment away from you and make you feel like you don’t deserve it. In
a few years it actually becomes cool to be a nerd, so you’re, like, totally a
trend-setter. Oh, and to save you any grief, the teasing about having boobs before everyone else stops pretty quickly. You have fun with your purple glitter eyeshadow and just keep being you-- <b>moving doesn't have to be JUST scary...I promise you there's fun in there too.<o:p></o:p></b></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Love, you.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<o:p><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Dear 15 year old Hannah,<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHoPlsxb5j_jwPJnfadOe1nHmI09KBZZQ4hY5pVVmXRPWp4JwwxMUn9hO91pnA0jEP35-GCHLBONbCXT9KOkXu3LYBMvceZdr-JhpVEQvKCumQriMq2dHaakXzD43bLwihkt6ZTNpoiyuM/s1600/Rebel+Hannah.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHoPlsxb5j_jwPJnfadOe1nHmI09KBZZQ4hY5pVVmXRPWp4JwwxMUn9hO91pnA0jEP35-GCHLBONbCXT9KOkXu3LYBMvceZdr-JhpVEQvKCumQriMq2dHaakXzD43bLwihkt6ZTNpoiyuM/s320/Rebel+Hannah.jpg" width="228" /></a></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: helvetica neue, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Save me, punk rock Hannah. And I dare you to accurately tell me who's on your shirt.</span></div>
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<br /><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Ok I’d love to tell you how much you’re going to regret
acting like you do right now, but your “rebellious” ass (seriously if you want
to be a rebel you have to stop wearing ill-fitting Aeropostale t-shirts) will be happy to
sneer to mom that we actually don’t regret it. We learn from it, yes, and we
change big time, so in a way we’re kind of grateful for the learning. Bad news,
though: in a few years; you end up believing that mom is right…..about
everything. No, I’m serious. You also end up apologizing for making girls cry when you thought you were Torrence from Bring It On the year you were cheer captain, and for ignoring the majority of your graduating class because they didn't know all of the words to Wicked, and for saying
mean things to your Dad because he told you to listen to mom. <b>But: </b>even though who you are
right now isn’t who you’ll be forever, and even though we don’t end up super
proud of how we acted, <b>I want you to love yourself and enjoy yourself, because
that’s exactly what leads us to grow and change when the time comes.</b> Have FUN with dating and be with
someone who makes you feel excited and happy! Start standing up for yourself
when people try to take advantage of your age and perceived naivety, because
that unfortunately still hasn’t stopped at present, but you end up a basically
unshakeable woman because of it. Oh, and experiencing depression and anxiety
doesn’t mean there’s anything “wrong with you” like people say at school: you
are completely normal. Some day soon, it’ll be part of your job to advocate
that fact, and you’re going to help so many kids who felt like you did because
of this experience. We go through a lot in the next seven years or so, but you
are surrounded by a great support system the whole time, I promise. You got
this, girl. Now go buy some clothes that fit for god’s sake.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Love, you.</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Dear 25 year old Hannah, <o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>I was going to ask you if everything turned out okay, but
after looking back on all that we’ve overcome just with self-love, enjoying
the moment, and an amazing family to support me, I feel like I know the answer.
I really hope you’re happy. I hope you aren’t house poor. I hope your eyeliner
looks amazing, your hair is shiny, and you love your body. I hope you own a lot of pink and sparkly things. I hope
your life is still an absolute mess, because I don’t want to be bored when I
get there. No matter where we’re at, I hope you haven’t forgotten that <b>change
and growth doesn’t just have to be stressful, it can be accompanied by excitement and hope. </b><o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Love, you.</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Turns out that all of those pins on pinterest telling me to stop looking into the past have been left off of my "slay" board for a reason; sometimes the best thing I can do when wondering how the hell I'm going to handle something is think about how the hell I did it before. Thank you all so much for reading and bearing with me while I get all of this adulating sorted, let
me know what you think this week, and of course, don’t forget to Sparkle!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">xox</span><o:p></o:p></div>
Hannah Barretthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09453627603756288735noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1115502635364525261.post-49051268459660511842016-06-16T04:49:00.002-07:002016-06-16T04:55:31.656-07:00An open letter to my girly-ness<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Dear Girly-ness,</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">You haven't always been a part of my life, and I'm sorry I openly rejected you for so long as evidently displayed in the picture below. </span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUawoehb5xzO1yH46Aqmui_faWsfAHkq-rqRXfvnWFQNx367eIzv_iromyVlVNXmun4Z4_A2Y3BpqTIwuUwCRRgLMZkdRF6J0bTWsqsuIqKHcER3ZGLcGnMXmg5pDZDENSmlc2lF0O5apI/s1600/blog+girly.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUawoehb5xzO1yH46Aqmui_faWsfAHkq-rqRXfvnWFQNx367eIzv_iromyVlVNXmun4Z4_A2Y3BpqTIwuUwCRRgLMZkdRF6J0bTWsqsuIqKHcER3ZGLcGnMXmg5pDZDENSmlc2lF0O5apI/s640/blog+girly.jpeg" width="264" /></a><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Yeesh, I am <i>really </i>sorry. Wow, are those ghost socks? With brown runners? That tomboy phase lasted just a couple years too long. I was so worried to let you in and embrace you in the Avril Lavigne, Rocket Power, Blink 182 era I grew up in for fear of not being cool. I mean come on-- pink over a plaid tie with a white tank top? <i>PLEASE.</i> Though I'm sure you remember the day I decided my wardrobe would no longer be that of an 8 year old boy's, and the more I let you in, the less I cared about being cool and the more I realized how fun it was to have you around. I'm pretty sure that flower in my hair on the first day of grade 5 caused a few people to faint.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Still, I've recently realized that back when I was 10 wasn't the only time people talked badly about you, and that most of your haters these days are actually other women; women who aren't girly still say you represent self-hate and desperation, being a "slut" *shutter*, and even vanity (I mean come on ladies pick one, do I hate myself or am I obsessed with myself?). I'm not sure why, but it seems like people seem to think that if you're in someone's life, you make them weak, and they're no longer a strong woman who loves herself. Well, I'm all about raising people up these days since I officially became a social worker two days ago, so I thought I'd let you know the ways in which you've made me stronger to help you block out the haters.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I wanted to thank you for teaching me about persistence and hard work. No matter how many times I've made my eyebrows look like rectangles, or how many days my winged eyeliner takes 8 tries, you inspire me to keep trying. The art of makeup has slowly turned into one of my favourite hobbies and interests, and if I wasn't afraid to have my girly-ness, I may have never kept working at getting good at it. Not because I hate myself or want to cover up my appearance, but because I love to enhance my good features, and I know that I'll love the result when I figure it out.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Thank you for teaching me focus, visualization, and organization. For some reason, it's been established that only girly-girls enjoy vision boarding and getting ideas from others. Let's just talk about one of your many brainchildren, Pinterest. People can make fun of women for using it, but it's given me a lot more than something to procrastinate on. It's the most accessible way to make a vision board, store recipes, make fitness and meal plans, budget and plan for decorating my house. It basically helps me adult like every damn day, and I don't use it to covet what other women have, I don't get raging pinterest jealousy (seriously why is that a thing so many people reference?), I use it to get great ideas from other women and I use them to help myself out. If this is how girly girls procrastinate it's no wonder I've been kicking so much ass lately.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Thank you, girly-ness, for giving me confidence. My curiosity about fashion and seasonal trends grows every year, and I am so glad that you also chill with my mom, because that woman had me in all the latest trends the moment I decided wearing girl's clothes wouldn't kill me about ten years ago. Actually any item of clothing I'm complimented on, my mom got it for me. You've touched the many magicians of this world who have helped me learn to dress for my shape, and created the billions of beautiful shoes on this earth for me to wear and eventually fill my 10-foot tall shoe closet with when I'm famous. You've shown me that clothes don't just cover my skin but are a great way for me to express myself and feel great about how I do it. Plus, let's be honest, it's saved me a bit of embarrassment, though I could probably still rock those black ghost socks with brown shoes if I tried. I've never once felt like a follower when I see a trend and decide to be a part of it, I just feel like I'm part of the fun world that is fashion, and I love it. Oh, and thanks for showing me tall girls can wear heels too, despite my fellow women telling me I "didn't need them". They make my legs look AH-mazing-- I need that.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Thanks girly-ness for helping improve my empathy, humility, and friendship. Now that I know what it takes to pick out a cute outfit, or what goes in to getting your make-up and hair on point, I have so much appreciation for when I see the work my fellow women have put in to their appearances. I have never given out as many compliments in my life than I have since I learned about the art of the perfect cut crease eyeshadow and seeing so many women around me pull it off flawlessly. Being girly is a highly-scrutinized thing these days, so if anyone is displaying skills in the girly arts (make-up, fashion, nails, hair, strutting in heels, speaking Tyra), I admire that bravery more than I ever imagined. Being girly is kind of like joining a sub-group of girl that even other girls are quite weird about. Being part of a group of women who other women pick on and regard as dumb and self-obsessed has really made me appreciate all women, girly or not, who feel judged every day, no matter what for. It's taught me to appreciate my fellow women for what makes them who they are, and to be proud of them for being brave and embracing that when they do. You haven't made me a bitch like everyone said you would, you've made me appreciative and caring.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Thank you for teaching me commitment. No matter how stupid, ridiculous, or what a waste of time people say it is, you've kept us girly girls watching America's Next Top Model for 22 cycles and The Kardashians for 12 seasons. Thanks to you I keep my head held high and my phone held close for when I need to text someone about Kim's crying face.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And thank you, girly-ness, for making me happy. You aren't around because I hate myself or because I'm jealous of others or because I want attention from men or because I think I'm the best thing on this planet. You are a part of me because I like you and I want you to be.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Love,</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Hannah</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There you have it, readers. I've been seeing a lot of hate for the girly girls lately, and I was over it. Obviously Pinterest and The Kardashians haven't saved my life, but liking those things doesn't make me a bad person or a weak woman. Being a bad person would make me a bad person and being a weak woman would make me a weak woman. I love being a girly-girl, I love owning everything pink and sparkly I can get my hands on, and I am a strong, kick ass woman. All at the same time. Thanks for reading this week, leave a comment, suggest a mess, and don't forget to sparkle!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">xox</span><br />
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<br />Hannah Barretthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09453627603756288735noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1115502635364525261.post-26840817022971598352016-06-09T08:46:00.001-07:002016-06-09T08:52:56.655-07:00Talk to my Graduate Hand.<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Oh yes, both for high school and post-secondary alike, it's graduation season. A time where I creep dresses on instagram and facebook until my entire data plan is used up. A time where I call myself "old" for graduating 5 years ago and make all of the older women on my social media scowl. A time that now for the second time in my life went by much too quickly, leaving me to dread heading back to the real world on Monday and the amount of vodka-cranberries I had in celebration.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Yes, just a few days ago I had my <i>second</i> grad day, this time with the degree that permits me to be in my dream profession.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibfkI1pYPkwDjbvves3ZYWp8UGXvtsNTzpBuWYKC-54cydq1OkoOjPPfUk1okvlUgG_IzWOPL6v1Fq24LoBdknsl-7W3b-syL3YRPg1rd3Fshxrl3iEb29OaQMBxXQbgjUuzJByhyphenhyphenRWK9p/s1600/blog+grad.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibfkI1pYPkwDjbvves3ZYWp8UGXvtsNTzpBuWYKC-54cydq1OkoOjPPfUk1okvlUgG_IzWOPL6v1Fq24LoBdknsl-7W3b-syL3YRPg1rd3Fshxrl3iEb29OaQMBxXQbgjUuzJByhyphenhyphenRWK9p/s320/blog+grad.jpg" width="187" /></a></div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxtPSyyLEsPxqs3Kwgb606TtP8yDWoHZpRlXHvjo3nnxwHFWq0K84ZzpheMQVqgG8SU-9CDKZIKjkj-aB81MHMmcfs_xLj3AK8POzGWktWVeFzrUohAJAD9sfHmWT-G1wmIFJ4qm8rz28r/s1600/blog+grad2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxtPSyyLEsPxqs3Kwgb606TtP8yDWoHZpRlXHvjo3nnxwHFWq0K84ZzpheMQVqgG8SU-9CDKZIKjkj-aB81MHMmcfs_xLj3AK8POzGWktWVeFzrUohAJAD9sfHmWT-G1wmIFJ4qm8rz28r/s320/blog+grad2.jpg" width="240" /></a><br />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I had an awesome group of people come together to congratulate me this week (and 5 years ago), and I sincerely hope everyone feels that love on any and every grad day they may experience. So this week, I wanted to congratulate my graduate readers by responding to the people who don't exactly help with the celebrating.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">As awesome as it is to have my degree, it's also terrifying and daunting, especially with everyone saying the classically really encouraging things people say to graduates like "welcome to real life" and "you think you're an adult now? well, just wait" and "my soul died when I entered the work force". I felt accomplished and excited most of my grad day, but I also had a slight existential crisis staring at my degree at about 9pm in which I pondered my choices and shovelled ice cream cake into my mouth. It's pretty hard to be excited when your soul is scheduled to die six days after you graduate. When I graduated high school I received messages of the same lovely nature like "this weekend will soon be irrelevant to you" and "you'll be miserable in university if you thought this was hard" and of course "you're still just a kid". Well good thing our dresses were shiny; we needed quite a bit of distraction to enjoy the day after those kind words.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Luckily those words never got the chance to rain on my parade, because I don't let <i>anyone</i> take any day, whether it be national pancake day, Harry Styles' birthday, or graduation day, away from me if I'm excited about it. When I had made it through high school </span><b style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">that was fabulous and I deserved a fabulous time. </b><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">You</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> better believe I<b> was</b></span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> excited to rock that dress and celebrate moving in to the next part of my, whatever that was going to be. And </span><i style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">especially </i><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">after completing post-secondary, I borrowed the hottest pink item of clothing I could find, strapped on some new heels, and strutted down that stage like I just won ANTM! The people who have said the rude phrases mentioned above are probably just bitter about their own graduation; maybe they got dumped by their grand march partner or wore the same dress as their arch nemesis or got a degree and hated their job, which all suck, but still gives no one the right to make me feel unaccomplished.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And so, here are my very sarcastic responses in hand-on-the-hip snapping fashion to each of these words of encouragement. </span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Okay admittedly this post is a little snarky and sarcastic, but that's because the people who have said these things to me weren't trying to be helpful, they were trying to make me feel crappy, so they deserve a bit of sass</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">:</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>1. Welcome to real life.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Well I think I was welcomed into real life when I got my first job at 13 years old, made payments on my first car, continued working two jobs in high school while playing sports and being in several plays per year and busting my ass in classes to get in to University, then moving away from my family at 17 to a city I was completely unfamiliar with, moving away from my family <i>again</i> at 18 when my mom was hospitalized for a serious accident, working shitty part time jobs to make rent, volunteering, and yet again busting my ass in full time classes for 5 years to finish off my degree with an A average. I'm certainly no expert on life yet, but I'm excited to learn about it. I'd like to write a letter to your welcoming committee, because they're doing a shit job on keeping up with their residents. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>2. You think you're an adult now? Well, just wait.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I'm 22, so, well.... yeah, I'm pretty sure I'm an adult? I'm not a model adult, I have not yet experienced the entire world at the age of 22, but thanks to my kick-ass parents and all of the other fabulous adults around me, I'm well prepared for taking on what remains to discover about "adult life". More importantly, I'm prepared to learn about the things I'll experience in the full-time working, mortgage-paying world, and I know I'm going to need help and make mistakes sometimes. Sorry, but I kind of figured out life isn't always easy a long time ago. Are you part of that aforementioned welcoming committee?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>3. My soul died when I entered the work force.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Seriously guys, A TON of social workers have said this to me-- nice, huh? Granted, social work is an extremely challenging profession, but just like any other job, you can still have time for the good things. When I left high school, life got even better. When I left University and started job hunting and finding the building blocks to my dream jobs, life got even better than even better. No, I can't do whatever I want Monday-Friday, but my life isn't over. I can still take vacations and now I can get paid while I do it! If I dreaded having a schedule and responsibility and limited free-time, I wouldn't have entered this profession, let alone made it through school, and I honestly feel terrible for people who didn't know what they were in for, but I'm not one of them, and if I was, these words sure wouldn't help!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>4. This weekend will soon be irrelevant to you.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">No, the excitement in my life did not peak at my high school graduation, and I'm grateful for that. But even five years later looking at my high school grad pictures, I enjoy quite a few of the memories from that weekend. I guess some things are irrelevant, though: I've completely forgot anything I was stressed about, or anything that upset me, and admittedly a lot of pieces of the grad party night, but that weekend was fun, and you telling me it's stupid didn't make it any less exciting before or memorable after!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>5. You'll be miserable in University if you thought this was hard.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I did struggle in high-school, especially with math and chemistry, but guess what? Social Workers don't have to take math or chemistry, and despite the myths and the reasons my math teacher tried to give me for not giving up on math (contradicting of course her telling me I sucked at math months earlier) I didn't even have to take stats. I was never miserable in University! I had to work hard, but I enjoyed the work I did, and I took a special interest in my classes because <i>I got to pick them.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>6. You're still just a kid.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Please see answers 1 through 5 *hair flip*.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So to all graduates, past, present, and future, stay excited. Life is going to be as good as you make it, and trust me, as a second-time graduate and full-time mess, I'm here to tell you that you can find success and happiness without having ALL of your shit together. Despite the negativity, I had so much fun at my second grad, and the ice cream cake helped stop my existential crisis. Thanks so much for reading my sass this week, please suggest a mess, and don't forget to sparkle!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">xox</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span>Hannah Barretthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09453627603756288735noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1115502635364525261.post-16001644463861539342016-06-02T07:45:00.001-07:002016-06-02T07:45:23.956-07:00Housewife or Workaholic?
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue';">There are two main messages sent through media to men and women:
how we should look and how we should act. I am fortunate enough to have grown
up in a time where some of these messages about women were being challenged and
myths were being busted. I pretty much cross-dressed until I was 11, and didn’t
know that it may have been an issue for anyone, especially my mom, who is
seriously such a good sport. I'm wondering how a girl my age might have written
this even in the fifties like, "I am so fortunate to have more rights than
the women of the 1800s. Gotta go, it's 3:30 and I haven't dusted, cooked
dinner, and raised the children single handily." <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue';">In my waking years of University where I took Women's Studies 203
and Sociology 201, consequently becoming a genius and an activist obviously, I
saw the destruction of the "perfect model look" and the exposing of photo shop
secrets, the mocking of the "perfect housewife" expectation, and the
rise of new ideas of what it meant to be a woman. My whole adolescence and not
long before now I sat back in utter disbelief learning of the anecdotes and
advertisements that were once mainstream even when my parents were kids; like
I'm talking advertisements for cleaning supplies aimed at men, telling them how
much their wife will love them and want to ravage them for buying them. Boy if
you think I'm going to jump your bones when you hand me a bottle of Vim you had
better think twice. Take that vacuum back and give me the money to
buy myself some new shoes. </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFlnyIpX86_Ptz7ig2Jk_QIQmBJ8o80Bjyrz6JSumNxlIEQjooK-LN_efUO4stXeoz7Ga8ou1jEBXDJwThUcKBwQdJJN7rhHs74_nhUWNY8PDPcW7wut8n1W9FvIrZ08SXIgEFrNereV69/s1600/Mindy+for+blog.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="275" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFlnyIpX86_Ptz7ig2Jk_QIQmBJ8o80Bjyrz6JSumNxlIEQjooK-LN_efUO4stXeoz7Ga8ou1jEBXDJwThUcKBwQdJJN7rhHs74_nhUWNY8PDPcW7wut8n1W9FvIrZ08SXIgEFrNereV69/s320/Mindy+for+blog.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">Source: http://www.eonline.com/photos/12322/all-of-mindy-kaling-s-looks-in-the-mindy-project-s-romantic-season-2-finale/377927</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue;">So thinking I was completely immune to the media messages, I was
going to write this post about the changes that have occurred
regarding the representation of women in mainstream media. Literally the only
thing that came up when I typed "women in media" in on Google just
yesterday were tons of articles and images critiquing the misrepresentation of
women. Instead, I wanted to write this post about some women in the media who I
think are good role models: classy women who serve themselves and the world
well, or women like Mindy Kaling who are hilarious, great writers <i>first, </i>famous fashionable diva's <i>second</i>. I wanted to pour myself a big glass of white wine and throw some shade
about why Blake Lively is obviously a better role model than Kylie Jenner....
then I realized not only how shady that is, but how much that would perpetuate
the messages I so blindly declared "dispelled" and then spent an hour doing my makeup for a selfie.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue';">I’ve been thinking a bit about those messages, the ones about how
we are supposed to look and act, and unfortunately I think they’re just as bad
as ever. First, let’s take the way women are supposed to look. Sure, Tyra
created a “no edit” challenge on ANTM Cycle 22, but there’s a new ridiculous
expectation in town. We've replaced the expectation of skinny women with
incredibly fit and just called it "<b><i>strong</i></b>" and "fitspo"—call
me crazy but the pictures filling my social media feeds of women with
incredible abs, butts, and legs kind of make me want to skip out on dinner more
than the Loreal Ads in the magazine. So no, the media doesn’t endorse skinny,
they endorse fit. On the other hand, women can be curvy, but only if they "own it" which basically involves talking about it all the time and
posting pictures of their curves like 4 times per day and the message I get is
there’s no in between. Like I’m not comfortable wearing horizontal striped crop
tops these days, but I’m also not comfortable taking selfies angled from below
my butt…. So where do I fit?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue';">If anything, we've raised the bar for women and just tried to call
the new expectations being "<b><i>strong</i></b>”, and not only physically, but mentally,
too. Women aren’t confined to the option of staying home anymore…. They now
have the pleasure of competing with each other to be the most impressive person ever, or otherwise end up with no respect. Why is it that the only women grabbing our attention
have to be alleged geniuses or speaking at conferences or writing a heartfelt
book (and not necessarily a good one—I’m looking at you Jenny McCarthy) or have
overcome some awful thing in their life (like being curvy and not owning it
with enough selfies and consequently losing 50 pounds while out of the public
eye for 3 months). The pressure for women to stand out, to be the smartest, prettiest, most
impressive and “strong” person in any given situation is creating an absolute mess, and not a remarkable sparkling one. Especially
because there’s a flip side to this one just like the strong vs curvy thing; women need to be strong but you can't be <i>too</i> strong or you're a psycho. Women need
to get out in the working world to prove to men and other women that they can do
what they can and 1000 times better!... but if they do that too much they're non-feminine, grumpy, terrible people and the worst mothers in the world. Seriously?
I’d rather be at home in the fifties vacuuming in a hoop skirt than have to listen to this garbage. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue;">I'm a normal girl, and you better believe that despite my seemingly critical thinking I am still subscribed to my beauty guru's on youtube, I am still curling up in my housecoat reading anything Mindy Kaling writes (ok but her stuff is good, Jenny), I am a sucker for summer fashion trends, including busting my ass to look better in the discount shorts I bought, and when Beyonce tells me to slay I get nervous and try really hard to learn the Lemonade choreography. I think what I hope to do moving forward is just remember that the things I like need to fit in with me, and not the other way around; the best thing about this abundance of media is that I can also pick and choose which messages work for me. I'll take that working woman hustle, mix it with everything pink and girly, and a body type that's right in the middle. Take that, "fitspo".</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue;">Thank you so much for reading this week, leave me a comment or send me a message with your feedback-- it makes writing this so much fun! Subscribe, suggest a mess, and don't forget to sparkle!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue;">xox</span></div>
Hannah Barretthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09453627603756288735noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1115502635364525261.post-16276225239365072792016-05-26T06:03:00.000-07:002016-05-26T06:08:15.193-07:00The Heartbreak Formula<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">When I was thirteen, I was dumped for the first time, and
obviously my life was over. A friend of mine suggested that I read a book
called “30 Days to Getting over the Dork you Used to Call Your Boyfriend” by a
lady named Clea Hantman; a masterpiece that is literally selling used on amazon
for one cent plus shipping these days. Okay I can’t really speak to it being a
masterpiece, because I actually only read one page of it, thinking I was cured
of all of my heartbreak. This genius of a lady told me that the first step to
avoiding heartbreak was knowing that my relationships most likely wouldn’t last
forever. IT WAS A TOTAL REVOLUTION: All I needed to do was remember that moving
forward and I would never ever be hurt again, and maybe as an added plus I
would develop commitment issues and never connect with another human for fear
of it ending. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Well, as much as miss Hantman was trying to help, the bigger
problem was that this idea sounded much better when I was single than even
<i>minutes</i> into a crush. I’m sorry, but after a first kiss with a guy, I don’t go
home, climb into bed, think “ah, how insignificant and temporary this is” and
drift into a comfortable sleep. I get excited, I get hopeful, I start really
enjoying this person’s company, I make them a part of my every day, my plans, I
start an album on my phone of all of the cute quotes I’m going to send them
every day. It’s not as easy as reading a few pages of a book for the next month
after to feel better when that all goes away. Sorry, Clea, but you can kiss my
ass.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Just like relationships, breakups are going to look
different for everyone, but I’ve learned a few things about them that sure made
it easier as the years and boys rolled by. After my heart's been broken, I just try to remember and apply my <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Three F</b>’s: Feelings, Friends, and Freedom
IN THAT ORDER. Let’s take a walk through with the Queen herself to help:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9N71FMWRnPrmwv4oy2wDyjF82Wz9WsOybBVj_p-qeZU9wOTUFud_UnvpMmWDpKGBd7JIbFTMVTnT51KdUqv7k23BzxaWIwYl5PNDitg5EhLVKwIIauB36ubf5IfRadagfjyH1uqsiE2Xs/s1600/giphy.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="176" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9N71FMWRnPrmwv4oy2wDyjF82Wz9WsOybBVj_p-qeZU9wOTUFud_UnvpMmWDpKGBd7JIbFTMVTnT51KdUqv7k23BzxaWIwYl5PNDitg5EhLVKwIIauB36ubf5IfRadagfjyH1uqsiE2Xs/s320/giphy.gif" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">Source: http://giphy.com/gifs/beyonce-lemonade-26AHtpSFcSc1zLFQI</span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Feelings<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I can’t stand when people think it's comforting to say things like "this is for the best" and "just accept it and move on" and "he isn't worth your tears" and "you have Ben and Jerry's Rocky Road on your face please stop crying". Guess what? <i>I have every right to be sad for more than a day about my breakup. </i>I'm allowed to be angry and bitter when he gets a new girl <b>WAY </b>too soon, I'm allowed to miss the good times, I am allowed to take time to heal and figure it all out while listening to The Fray and Beyonce. I can't believe how often I still see posts on all different kinds of media telling girls to just "hold their head high and don't let anyone see you cry"-- screw that! I am allowed to be sad when I'm sad! What people should be preaching about is the dangers of how you <i><b>express</b> </i>how you feel at this time. I'm pretty sure queen Bey is one of the only people who has the reason and right to go around smashing cars and driving monster trucks after she's been wronged: I think the mistake I've made in breakups is not being sad for too long, but in trying to make him feel bad by constantly reaching out to him or posting for all to see about how broken up I am or possibly trying to make the new girlfriend's life hell. Even though they were all idiots for leaving me, they didn't deserve to be pulled in over and over.....they kind of gave up that responsibility when they dumped me. And none of the new girlfriends were my friends...they had no reason to stay away from him if they felt for him, because he was single. <i>That</i><b> </b>is what I "needed to accept and move on" from-- not my feelings, but the fact that <b>it's over. </b>From there comes the time you need for the feelings, and then comes the next F.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjG8Ss4AHDOP6t_mm4KaCyf1TDhglc7GCeVMl1NCQfhGSqkHMcT4ordDGDpCLTRcje2D_VqGTk0zRuamgOfko8rXz3C_PulWfDN4ul1mkhwblodaLYhVJrICULbiKWP4UElbIpzPPJ0BX5U/s1600/giphy+%25281%2529.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="151" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjG8Ss4AHDOP6t_mm4KaCyf1TDhglc7GCeVMl1NCQfhGSqkHMcT4ordDGDpCLTRcje2D_VqGTk0zRuamgOfko8rXz3C_PulWfDN4ul1mkhwblodaLYhVJrICULbiKWP4UElbIpzPPJ0BX5U/s400/giphy+%25281%2529.gif" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;">Source: http://giphy.com/gifs/beyonce-mv-formation-l4KhM9EDArm6dwSxq</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Friends</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Once I've had a bit of time to feel the sad and angry feels, it comes time to start taking steps to feeling happy ones. Disclaimer: It's important to know who your real friends are at this point, but you'll know pretty quickly. No word of a lie, I had "friends" in high school who as I got dumped went and chugged a bunch of beer and spent the night at my house completely ignoring me as I cried in my bed. My real friends were the ones who asked how I was doing, who tried to get me out of the house and do fun things and not re-start the P.S I Love You DVD over for the 400th time, or who even joined me for a cry and wiped my mascara off of my face. The most important thing I've learned about this F: my friends would get pretty sick of asking me to hang out if I kept wanting to having a pity party by myself and turning them down, because it's just as much my job to get my ass out with my friends as it's theirs to ask. Even if I wasn't totally feeling it, I learned that forcing myself out of bed and seeing my girls was the only way I'd start having fun and wanting to do it more often. The only way you'll start to feel good again is if you let yourself, and as much as you have the right to feel sad, you have the <b>responsibility </b>to build yourself back up, no matter how long that takes or how little the steps you need to take to do it are. You'll get there, so get in formation*.</span></div>
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<b style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">*If any of you go through a breakup this summer you have literally the best songs to get angry to and turn up with your girls with on Beyonce's Lemonade album. </b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Here's the other part of the Friends F: he isn't going to be my friend. You want to know how many of my exes I'm friends with today? 0. Want to know how many exes I tried to be friends with? All of them. It's something I've always done as a (somewhat desperate) last attempt not to lose the guy completely because I'm sad it's over, but it's pretty hard to say "Good, you?" instead of "<b>DYING ON THE INSIDE BECAUSE YOU'VE COMPLETELY BROKEN MY HEART AND FEELING LIKE I'LL NEVER LOVE AGAIN</b>." to the "friend" you just spent half a year dating and sleeping with (sorry moms). The breakups where I skipped the friend stage were the ones where I had a much easier time adjusting to them not being in my life because get this: they were no longer a part of my life! Girlfriends > Exes EVERY TIME.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;">Source: http://giphy.com/gifs/justin-beyonce-slay-i-3o6gb88EFZEuiCrgB2</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Freedom</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Also known as the flaunting or fabulous stage, the third F is obvious but I know I get so caught up in the sadness and healing and jealousy that I forget how seriously great I am </span><i style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">on my own</i><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">. The biggest and most positive change I've ever made in my life was after the most brutal breakup I ever had. When it was forced on me in such a dramatic way, I was kind of smacked in the face with my "loneliness", but it was the best look at myself I had in a long time, and it made me realize some of the greatest things about myself. It made me realize that I was strong, that I was independent, and that if I could get through that god-awful relationship, I could get through anything. It made me realize that wonderful family and friends I had around me, and that I wanted to make some changes to my boundaries and the way I related to people around me. It was scary at first, I was terrified, I didn't really want to have to stare at myself, but I ended up loving and caring for what I saw.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Another part of freedom is that if you're ready, if you want to, you can get back out there! Something about getting dumped, no matter who it's by, makes me feel so undesirable and different.....but I'm the same. Sad, a bit hurt, but still completely fabulous. Just because this dumb ass didn't want me definitely doesn't mean no one else will! Even when I've been the one who breaks it off, there have been times where I feel like I shouldn't be with other people "because I just got out of something serious"-- ugh, so dramatic. Please refer to my very first blog entry for more on this very simple point: DATING SHOULD BE FUN. Get back out there and have some, just as long as you're respecting yourself and taking care of yourself. A word from the not-so-wise: if you're going to try to date someone just to make him jealous, you're going to be wasting a lot of your time and energy, and hurting innocent people in the process. Do it for you. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Well ladies, gents, everyone else, I hope you can use the three F's and may it always lead to you remembering you are fabulous. Thank you so much for reading, please suggest a mess and subscribe, and don't forget to Sparkle!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">xox</span></div>
Hannah Barretthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09453627603756288735noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1115502635364525261.post-27732084323359920302016-05-19T06:38:00.000-07:002016-05-19T06:38:11.494-07:00Clichés: Translated and Validated<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If I could go back in time to tell my high school self one
thing, it would be to stop wearing boot cut jeans when I literally owned no
boots. But secondly, I would tell myself to take all those clichés and advice
adults threw at me seriously and <b><i>listen</i></b>. No, seriously, HEAR ME OUT TEENAGERS
PLEASE.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I am not one of those people who think that “this generation
of kids is hopeless” or that you are an idiot until you enter “the real world”.
First off, I think this generation of kids is amazing; I usually spend my time wishing
my friends were social media savvy enough that I could send them selfies to
approve and wondering why most 14 year olds can blend their
eye shadow better than I can. Second, I do not believe that graduating high school is what magically
opens a big golden door that says “the real world” on it; I’ve met 10 year olds
who have raised themselves and their siblings (and are smarter than some 45
year olds I know), and 17 year olds who have bough their own houses, so don’t
even tell me they don’t have life experience. I think the biggest mistake people make is writing children and teens off as unintelligent or lesser just
because they’re young. I had a lot of people in my teen years, especially in
employment settings, try to get away with talking down to me or cheating me out
of certain things (advancement opportunities, pay raises, the right to not be
harassed) because I was "<i>just a kid</i>." Little did they know, being a kid also
meant having a brain, a voice, and a fairly scary mom at home ready to kick
their asses if I needed. *files nails and blows on them*<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So this isn’t me writing about how I think kids should
surrender to the unwavering wisdom of adults because kids are stupid; it's me writing about the merit I now see in that wisdom. When I was a teen, I was an even bigger mess than I am now
(believe it), but if you asked me at the time, I would have probably quoted
some song lyrics about being misunderstood and told you I didn’t need anything
or anyone to achieve my dream of becoming a Hollywood actress…enough said.
Nothing annoyed me more than the shroud of adults around me giving me advice
and critiquing my choices because obviously I had it figured out so it was
absolute insanity to think I needed help. Except now, not only do I see the
value in the advice I was being given (and now seek), I see the value in the intent behind it. The people in my life who truly care give me the hard truths
and wisdom because they believe I am smart enough to do something with it,
not because they think I'm too stupid to figure it out myself. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Now in the moment, it’s not always easy to see the intention
and the meaning behind someone’s words when they’re critiquing me, because I
usually start singing “Miss Independent” by Kelly Clarkson in my head rather
than hear them out, but afterward I reflect on it and I think I have thus mastered
the language of cliché’d advice. So today just call me Rosetta Stone, because
I’m about to break this language down. Except you are getting this knowledge
for free and it could very well be extremely inaccurate. Maybe just call me "The
Learning Annex" or something. Plus in an attempt to see what she looks like, I just remembered Rosetta Stone isn't a person, but a stone.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><u>My simplified versions of the classics</u></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>“Practise makes perfect/if at first you don’t succeed, try
again” <br />
Translation: “I believe you have what it takes to be great, and I don’t want
you to miss out on greatness because you’re frustrated.”</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This was one of the ones that annoyed me the most,
especially because my parents, teachers, or coaches only seemed to pull this
one out when I was most frustrated and the last thing I wanted to do was keep
going. But what made me pass chemistry despite my absolute suckage with numbers?
Going in every day after school for help. Re-writing all of my tests for a
better grade. What lead me to later be a straight A student in University? Hours of studying. Reading and re-reading my notes in between every exam.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And even though I used to like people’s 3 year
old instagram pictures and completely embarrass myself, that did not stop me
from being the ultimate instagram stalker I am today. Here’s a cliché from ME:
the skills, jobs, and opportunities worth having take work and commitment. The adults around me just didn't want to see me lose out on kicking ass just because it wasn't easy, and I am so happy they kept nagging.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>“Keep making that face and it’ll get stuck like that.”<br />Translation: “…”</b> <i>Ok wait.</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Though a lot of the classic adult lines worked, this is one of the few I have later examined and just been thoroughly unimpressed with. I mean technically, the translation would be “I’m sick of looking at your pouty face”. But please, pouts are in, and unless I was making the face of a fabulous and beautiful queen, my face did NOT get stuck like anything. *The face pictured right was drawn as an illustration for this quote-- cool huh?! It was drawn by my good friend @longwoolsocks on instagram. Give her art a look-- she has a wicked artistic style.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>“If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything
at all.”<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Translation: “I know you’re a kind, honest person, and if
you leave the nasty things left unsaid, people won’t think otherwise.”</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Boy, do I wish I listened to this one. People all around
me tried very hard to teach me not to confuse honesty with maliciousness, but I
was too hard correcting grammar on facebook and telling everyone I hated them
to hear it. I’m still proud of the fact that I’m a pretty straight shooter and
I can tell it like it is, but I’ve learned the time and place for telling
people when I don’t like something/someone isn’t as common as I figured. Don’t
get me wrong, I still throw shade where it’s needed, but my new strategy is
just to do it by myself, flip my hair, and carry on with my day. <i>I don't say anything at all.</i> I haven’t been
called a bitch in SO long! It works!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>“Nothing good happens after (insert your curfew time here).”<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Translation: “I lay awake when you’re out because I’m
worried about you being in a situation when things get out of hand.”</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Okay parents, close your ears. Everyone else—want to know
what happened the first time I stayed out past my curfew? I lost my virginity
(yes it was to my boyfriend but it was NOT romantic), my best friend puked all
over herself, and the party I was at broke out in countless fights. Since I
was so well informed by common media, I figured I’d be riding around a limo and sipping champagne at 4am.
Instead, I ended up the worst night and worst party experience I had in high
school. The fact is that my parents were once teens too, and they knew exactly
how long it takes a party to get ridiculous, so as people who care for me, they
didn’t want me there when that happened. Plus, even though it felt like I was
being majorly oppressed at the time, just a few years later I moved to a huge
city and lived in a building full of 18 year olds with free transit to any club
in the city. Guess who was always the first to grab a hot dog and get in a cab
home by 2am while her friends were grinding with assholes that gave them 6-digit phone
numbers the next morning? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I didn’t want to hear the advice I was given when it was
being given to me, but the difference between my life being a mess and a
remarkable sparkling mess is that I’ve embraced the fact that I am one, so
advice is greatly appreciated. Thanks so much for reading, please suggest a mess, and
don’t forget to sparkle!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">xox</span><o:p></o:p></div>
Hannah Barretthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09453627603756288735noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1115502635364525261.post-90338933694562078082016-05-12T04:24:00.000-07:002016-05-12T04:26:15.350-07:00Finding your true LHG's<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Every year, especially since I left home for University, I
have more and more priorities; getting my degree, volunteering, performing well
in practicum, working, nagging my boyfriend, etc. My life is like that cute
John Cusack movie where he’s outside the window blasting Peter Gabriel from his
boom box, except in my scenario I’m trying to sleep and the world continuously
throws huge rocks at my window and holds up a boom box blasting, like, a really
angsty Three Days Grace song. I guess I’d better get up now. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So before the world shows up and gets out it’s boom box
every morning (but seriously, you are <i>leaning </i>on your car, I guarantee it has better
sound), who do I want to spend my precious and limited free time with? <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">People who won’t waste it.</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Your besties, your ride or dies, your clique, your main
bitches (if you will). I’ve recently after repairing a fight with one of my very best friends have started calling them my Long Haul Girls or LHG's. My LHG’s are
different from my other friends because they’re the ones who have shown me they
aren’t going anywhere NO MATTER WHAT. They're the girls who still catch up and see me when they can-- the ones who put in the work: yes, friendships do take work! And, unfortunately, Fifth Harmony’s terrific “Work from
Home” formula isn’t always a fit in this scenario, unless of course that means
you and your besties are spending the day dancing in extremely unsafe work gear
with a rapper—that sounds like the best snapchat story ever.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">People do change</b>, despite the
posts by millions of girls on instagram who took back their cheating man and
expected him not to do it again stating otherwise, and friendships fizzle out. I don’t feel like
my past friendships were a waste of my time; most are great memories, and the
others are just really good lessons in what kind of bullshit I don’t need in my
life. To demonstrate the things I do want in my life, I’ve
obtained a diagram from the Sparkling Science Textbook (Barrett, 2016).</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPQfeiPwXve7olTchXjCmA0NjM2W48oQFeSUqw3S-kPWwpdDn2IAkd4BSLTq_ebpm884-dZ-8MQEAmB4Or3WucvILacTImTbkhgY96Wjf0qfYYxAHPhHbA8BGCbRcyxqyBo1XFYEJVe0Mp/s1600/Blog+Post+Friendship.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPQfeiPwXve7olTchXjCmA0NjM2W48oQFeSUqw3S-kPWwpdDn2IAkd4BSLTq_ebpm884-dZ-8MQEAmB4Or3WucvILacTImTbkhgY96Wjf0qfYYxAHPhHbA8BGCbRcyxqyBo1XFYEJVe0Mp/s640/Blog+Post+Friendship.jpeg" width="452" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Let's break this bad boy down:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">1. First of all, all the LHG's have better eyebrows than this, but what this diagram is pointing to is a brain in her head. The LHG is an intelligent women who has her own opinions-- opinions that aren't always the same as mine! I find that all of my best friendships aren't with people who are the exact same as me, they're with people who love our differences. I'd use an example from some popular TV show here but I truly just watch Full House re-runs on Netflix these days and I am so not bringing Kimmy Gibbler into this. In addition to having her own thoughts, the LHG is <i>thoughtful: </i>she knows when it's time to let me have a pity party, when to snap me out of it, and who I am/why she loves me despite my moods. If she couldn't handle me unless I was happy all the time, she wouldn't be an LHG. Other thoughts in the LHG's brain include how much I'll laugh at the picture she just screenshot, when the next time we can see each other is, and the gossip I DEFINITELY want to hear.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">2. The LHG is pictured holding some dolla dolla bills. No, they don't shower me in gifts and they don't expect it from me because they would sure be let down. But my girls don't mind grabbing me a coffee on the way over and they aren't keeping a running bill of the things we've gifted and grabbed for each other; it's all good, all the time, and it evens out in the end. If things get really brutal when we're 80, we'll start writing out a list.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">3. The device in the LHG's hand is a cell phone. It's what she uses to keep in touch here and there and make plans with me. Here's where some of that work comes in: I don't need my friends to check up with me every single day, hell, some of my LHG's and I won't talk for weeks at a time when we're super busy, but the point is that they are still making the effort. If my girls are busy putting in work to live their best life, that's great. But if I never seem to be a part of that, if I'm getting blown off when I try to make plans with her, if her boyfriend is getting all of her free time and instagram likes... I know when that Hotline <b>don't </b>bling, that can only mean one thing.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">4. In the LHG's bag are the following items: <b>chips, gum, gin, a Justin Timberlake CD, and a k</b><b>nife. </b>Basic essentials, but let's talk about the knife. The knife is to cut any bitches that cross us, but also to cut my ass when I need it. These cuts don't come often, and it's rare that I fight with my friends, but my girls know when it's somewhat necessary. My LHGs give me the hard truths, and sometimes they know it might result in us needing a little space, but that's all part of the long haul. I've even had up to six months of space from one of my best friends before but at the end we apologized and went right on talking about makeup and deli sandwiches like before. My LHG's love me and know that eventually I'll appreciate their wisdom, no matter how bitchy and uncalled for I deem it at the beginning. Oh, and in the meantime, they definitely aren't favouriting Nicki Minaj's shade posts or tweeting passive aggressively about me. <b>*Not pictured in bag-- hot sauce.</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">5. The LHG has a booty that she not only will shake with me to terrible music from the early 2000's (if you can't slutty dance to Xtina's "Dirrty" with me you had better at least shoot the boomerang video) but that I can sometimes be a pain in. I'm not sure how many rap songs you've analyzed, but I like to believe that the so called "big booty hoes" also have big booty's in the metaphorical sense to put up with the pain in the ass men rapping about them, and if so....I ALSO love big booty hoes. My LHG's forgive me when I'm being neurotic or when I spent the whole coffee date ranting about my boyfriend and forgetting to ask about their promotion, or when I cock block them because I need to cry about work. What's more is that when it's important to me, they can let it go. An LHG knows that just like those dolla bills, it will all even out in the end. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">6. Finally, the pictured LHG has some fabulous shoes on that I am obviously allowed to borrow, granted I can cram my hooves into them. Also up for grabs are scarves, dresses that have been worn more than twice, and hoodies that they will later have to dig out of my closet to get back.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Here's the most important part about <b>LHG's: if you want to have one, you have to be one. </b>Truth is, this diagram isn't how I pick my friends, it's all the ways I try to be a good friend. Even though I have a job, an apartment, a diet, and a boyfriend to maintain, you better believe I set coffee dates and walks and movies and drinks with my girls whenever our schedules line up. When I blab on and on about myself at coffee, I apologize and let her blab for a while. When I know she's having a rough time, I bake cookies, burn them, cry, and buy her cookies at the store. When I haven't heard from her in a while I give her a text. When she can't make our plans because her man needs a come to jesus talk I send her a Beyonce music video and reschedule. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">You may have a different LHG diagram, but my point is that I make sure the people in my life show me the love I need and deserve, and that this doesn't only go for my romantic relationships. The people who want to spend time with you will make the time, and those are the only people who get to be my LHG's. That's definitely something I wish I knew in high school, because I think I would have spent a lot less time trying to impress people who made me feel more lonely when I was with them than when I was by myself.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Thank you so much for reading, suggest a mess for next week, and don't forget to sparkle!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">xoxox</span></div>
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Hannah Barretthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09453627603756288735noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1115502635364525261.post-58387352743329962082016-05-05T06:40:00.000-07:002016-05-09T19:11:28.857-07:00Win a date with Hannah Barrett<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Take that, all of the people who looked down their nose at
me when I started dating in grade seven! Now people want me to give dating
advice! WOO!! SAGE WISDOM!! IN YOUR FACE!!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">…..I’m sorry, I take it back, not in your face PLEASE KEEP
READING.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">For me, dating is something that has changed so much over
time. And yes, I am currently dating my ninth grade boyfriend, but that whole process wasn't exactly a fairytale, and there was a lot of learning in the middle. So I’m going help you understand what I’ve learned about dating
by walking you through, beginning to end, a relationship with me. You, dear
reader, will play the part of my suitor, which I know is a total dream for you.
I'll also let you know my major red flag areas at the end that you can use and adjust as you wish! So imagine you are now
swiping right on my tinder profile…..<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Obviously you think I’m a catch, probably because of my
stunning wit, and you’d like to get closer to me, so you know what we should do?
Something <i>fun</i>. <b>Dating is supposed to be fun.</b> Yes, eventually this could lead to
something serious, but it's supposed to be fun first! Even if you aren't necessarily "my type" (named Harry Styles) but you want to take me bowling instead of watch a movie at your moms? Sold. I mean, you're already on strike 2 what with you actually being 6 inches shorter than you said and asking me how much the drink I ordered costs, but I'm not texting the code word to my best friend yet. When I was younger I basically just wanted fall so madly in love with someone it would inspire a John Mayer song, so I just fell
hard and fast for <i>anyone.</i> Like seriously, all they had to do was drive me to Tim Hortons and buy me a tea. A TEA. That's, like, the cheapest thing they have.
WELL NO MORE—if you don’t think I deserve a fabulous date right off the bat,
you probably won’t think I deserve anything fabulous at all, and you’re wrong. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And no, I don’t mean shower me in diamonds and
take me to a steak house (though, I mean, you could…), I mean make me laugh! Let's walk by the river and drink wine out of go-cups, let’s go to a board
game café, let’s go for coffee and people watch, or go skating, or go to museum
and pretend we know what we’re looking at…. because I don’t want to sit in your
living room while you talk about yourself and I grill you for information. Obviously that’s going to be our
third date. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Oh, and let me just say I probably won’t sleep with you. I
have never been gratified by casual sex, and guess what? <span style="color: red;"><b><u>I’m allowed to say no.</u></b></span>
Hey, other girls might be in to sex on the first date and that’s totally okay
if that’s what makes them feel good! But that's not me, so you better keep it in your pants tonight, reader.
Netflix and chill is off the table, unless by chill you mean listen to me tell
you about job and my favourite movies we aren’t watching. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So now we’ve been dating for a few months and we spend a lot more of our time just hanging out together talking, learning new things together, and getting more
comfortable around each other. Of course, there's still little dates and nice gestures because a girl needs to feel appreciated!</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> </span><span style="color: red; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b><u>I tell you about my friends and my zumba class</u></b></span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> and how badly I want to lose ten
pounds, and you tell me all about the video games you play and your friends
and about your ridiculous metabolism like seriously you should be 500 pounds. We argue here and there like
when you were supposed to pick me up at 7:30 and showed up at 8:00 and didn't apologize right away, or when I came home after ladies night and woke you up to talk about my makeup looking SO good when
you had to work the next morning. But we both know when we’ve been wrong and we
always say sorry in the end. You know what the best thing is, reader? </span><b style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: red;"><u>You never
make me feel guilty for telling you how I feel</u></span></b><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">.You also never cancel our
plans because you want to see me just as much as I want to see you, because as
we both know, anyone who actually wants to see you makes the time to do so. I
also really like that you like when I text you when we’re apart, and you
especially admire that I only text you a few times per day rather than the
300000 times I’d like to send you hilarious pictures I see on Instagram or my flawless selfies. You don’t
guilt me for being “too into you” or “not chill enough” because you wouldn’t be
dating me if you didn’t want me to be in to you, and if you can’t handle this
intensity what the hell are you still doing here?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Ah. So…. You’re breaking up with me. Well, I’ll give you
back most of your clothes but I’m stealing something and then when I’m over you
I’ll probably just throw it out. I’m sad, lonely, and a bit confused, but hey if you're willing to let me go you don't really deserve to keep me around anyway. We both know the whole “still friends thing” won’t work, so I’m
not going to text you about it, or talk to you at all really. Not until I’m
over you, which is going to take some time with my friends, some ice cream, screaming
Adele in my car whilst sobbing, and possibly a rebound. But this part is all
for another blog entry, so, thanks for the memories.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Well, we had some good times reader, but I think we’ve both
moved on. Now that we’ve had time to heal, let me walk you through the three potential red flag areas we grazed over:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="color: red;"><b>1. I'm allowed to say no.</b></span> If you are going to make me feel bad
for not wanting to have sex, you do not deserve to have me EVER. I spent a lot
of years telling myself that a guy wanting to spend any time with me meant he
was worthy of having my body in the most intimate way possible—that things were
“serious” enough to let him have that piece of me. Know what I ended up with? A
lot of missing pieces that didn’t text back and didn’t look me in the eye
again. Sex isn’t a service, it’s an intimate act between partners that both
people should want. So back it up, reader. You’ll get it when I damn well want
you to.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b style="color: red;">2. Telling you about my life. </b>I wanted to point out that while you were dating me I had a life outside of our relationship to tell you about, and you did too. For me, if I realize I haven't been seeing my friends much, or that I haven't done one of my hobbies in a long time, or even worse, that YOU don't seem to have any friends, that's a big red flag for me. It isn't normal that the people who were in my life before you ALL became assholes when we started dating..... so the reason I'm not seeing them is me, and more specifically my relationship, especially if you didn't seem to "like" anyone I brought you around. And if you have no friends or interests....well.... you're probably an ass too. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b style="color: red;">3. You never make me feel guilty for telling you how I feel. </b>Our fights were normal, because arguments are normal. But there's something that isn't normal. Let's say that time I was upset that you came late, you didn't end up apologizing. Maybe instead, you decided to get angry and tell me that it was stupid that I felt upset. Maybe then you would launch into why I should be happy you came at all, or that you're still with me despite me being so emotional and crazy. Maybe that tangent continues to take a jab at my female emotionality, or something completely irrelevant to the situation like my sexual history or my mental health. Maybe you start doing that every time I try to let you know I'm upset. That's not a fight, that's called <b>emotional abuse</b>. Unfortunately, I was once in a situation where I let someone do just that for a very long time, and soon I no longer believed I deserved any better. I believed him-- that I shouldn't dare bring up my discomfort or concerns because I should just be lucky anyone even wanted me. But now, I know what I deserve, and it is someone who will hear me out and let me feel what I feel. I finally built my self-love back up and I am never going to let anyone make me feel bad for who I am ever again. So that's why you let me be upset when you're late and apologize. That's why you don't make fun of me for feeling lonely as soon as you leave for the night. Not only because you actually care for me, but because I wouldn't settle for anything less.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">*Please notice also that the red flag areas really started popping up not at the beginning when it was new and fun, but once we were together a few months, when I started getting to know the real you. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Well guys, it got pretty messy, maybe even a little serious, but I hope it was the mess you were looking for. Keep suggesting messes for next week, and don't forget to sparkle!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">xoxox</span></div>
Hannah Barretthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09453627603756288735noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1115502635364525261.post-87125732669831660532016-04-30T21:41:00.000-07:002016-05-01T12:10:20.234-07:00Welcome!<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Hello! Welcome to my Remarkable Sparkling Mess!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Every time I read an incredible book, I want to write one. And, before you go judging and thinking I am some ratchet copy-cat, let's be real. We all get that feeling from something-- you see a great outfit on tumblr and you NEED to own it (and rock it, of course), you're taking notes on that flawless make-up tutorial on instagram, and you see a picture of some AMAZING cheese fries on pinterest</span><span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> and you are.....settling for those sour cream and cheddar potato chips (like no, I don't own a mandolin for my potatoes, I am not Ree Drummond). It's called INSPIRATION, and it doesn't make me unoriginal, it makes me, like, the best listener ever (she wrote without wanting your damn opinion).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I recently have been so inspired by the advice of many fabulous women's books (Grace Helbig, Mindy Kaling, Alexa Chung) that I decided to finally combine my two loves: writing and helping people. I could have gone with my other loves, but "My boyfriend and bread products" would have been such a niche project.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I am so happy to be finally starting this blog, and I am extremely grateful that you're reading it. I thought before I started on the weekly topics<b>**</b> I have lined up, I would give a quick intro by answering a few questions I'm sure my new readers may have as we approach the launch of this beauty! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Who the hell are YOU to launch a blog featuring ADVICE?</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Well, dear reader, that's a pretty excellent question. So let me tell you the most important thing about this blog: It's being written by someone who knows they are a complete and utter mess. It's also being written by someone who tries really hard every day to love themselves. And I'll give you a hint-- there's only one writer on this blog. YEAH, it's edgy and confusing like that. Someone who absolutely does <i>not</i> have their shit completely together wants to give you advice. But here's the thing about my advice-- <b>you</b> get to choose what it means, and what's more is that you can give it right back to me. I want this blog to be as much of a community as possible-- meaning that little box on the side of the page isn't a decoration, people. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I'm not telling you about my experience because I think it's how you should live your life, I'm telling you about my life because it's a hilarious mess. I want to share my experiences with you and help you learn and make your own damn decisions. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Wait, you want to help people? Aren't you, like, kind of mean?</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This is actually what has been brewing in me/inspiring me to write for young girls for a while now; <i>I once was a total ASSHOLE. </i>Yep-- I was a gossipy, confrontational, judgemental jerk. I was completely addicted to the drama of high school, and no matter how much I claimed to "hate" fighting with other girls or having nasty rumours spread around the school or bullying I always seemed to be smack dab in the middle of it. You wanna know what that got me?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><i>Like, no friends.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">A couple years went by after high school and I realized just how low my self-esteem was. The day I started building myself back up was the day I realized that I was only mean to others because of the way I felt about myself. I literally wrote an open letter of apology to anyone who knew me in high school, and I urged all of the kids I knew in high school to love themselves so that they may love others and never find themselves friendless and angry like I was. And guess what? That was the most read post I had ever written on a blog in my 3 years of blogging. I think you can see where this is going.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>So is this blog only for teen girls?</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Not at all-- I think anyone can learn from understanding and observing another person's experience. I simply aim this at teen girls because that's the one part of life I can speak to pretty wholly, having gone through it completely. This blog is for anyone! Whether you're struggling with the transition into adulthood, in the process of adulting (kind of) like me, wondering what the hell is wrong with your teenager, or a boy incognito trying to understand women (kudos, kid), I think you can find something here you might like.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Um, shouldn't you be focusing on your career?</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I sure should. A huge part of working in the human services industry is taking care of yourself and doing things you like in your spare time so that you don't want to strangle all of your clients. Since I love writing, I figured this could be a cool way to take my mind off of work stuff and talk to you about aaaalllll the other stuff. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>What if we want to know about your career?</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">If you want to know what it's like to be a social worker, ask someone to walk all over you and then thank them after.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Kidding-- my job is awesome. Should you ever want me to comment on my work, I will absolutely do so, as long as by "tell me about being a social worker" you don't mean "tell me your clients names and addresses, please."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Why blogging? I thought you were a youtube freak?</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Yes, I do love my youtube, and my rants as a 12 year old were a real hit, but I'm hanging up that hat for a little while. Plus, hey, in this day and age I think we could all use a little reading over watching. Don't get me wrong-- I think vlogging and youtube tutorials are amazing and I watch them often, but I do not have the technology, time, or pores to tape myself and edit it for you with cute music and transitions every week. Please see the comment on my career above.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Oh, and like, I guess you should tell us about yourself and whatever.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Well, I'm a recent University Graduate, I'm a social worker and aspiring world-changer, and I like anything pink. I grew up on a farm and I live in the city, I love food so much that sometimes I can't sleep because I'm too excited about breakfast, and I love to sing. I cry in particularly touching yogurt commercials and only recently learned how to apply eyeshadow. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">At the very least, I can tell you what not to do!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Thank you so much for reading, stay tuned for my first post on Thursday! Suggest a Mess in the box on the right side of the page and don't forget to SPARKLE! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">xoxoxox</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue" , "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>**You can add to my ever-growing list of topics by using the "Suggest a Mess" bar on the side of the page to ask a question or suggest a topic you'd like to hear me speak on! You can also do so by messaging me on my instagram or facebook should you know them ;)</b></span>Hannah Barretthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09453627603756288735noreply@blogger.com0