Clichés: Translated and Validated

If I could go back in time to tell my high school self one thing, it would be to stop wearing boot cut jeans when I literally owned no boots. But secondly, I would tell myself to take all those clichés and advice adults threw at me seriously and listen. No, seriously, HEAR ME OUT TEENAGERS PLEASE.

I am not one of those people who think that “this generation of kids is hopeless” or that you are an idiot until you enter “the real world”. First off, I think this generation of kids is amazing; I usually spend my time wishing my friends were social media savvy enough that I could send them selfies to approve and wondering why most 14 year olds can blend their eye shadow better than I can. Second, I do not believe that graduating high school is what magically opens a big golden door that says “the real world” on it; I’ve met 10 year olds who have raised themselves and their siblings (and are smarter than some 45 year olds I know), and 17 year olds who have bough their own houses, so don’t even tell me they don’t have life experience. I think the biggest mistake people make is writing children and teens off as unintelligent or lesser just because they’re young. I had a lot of people in my teen years, especially in employment settings, try to get away with talking down to me or cheating me out of certain things (advancement opportunities, pay raises, the right to not be harassed) because I was "just a kid." Little did they know, being a kid also meant having a brain, a voice, and a fairly scary mom at home ready to kick their asses if I needed. *files nails and blows on them*

So this isn’t me writing about how I think kids should surrender to the unwavering wisdom of adults because kids are stupid; it's me writing about the merit I now see in that wisdom. When I was a teen, I was an even bigger mess than I am now (believe it), but if you asked me at the time, I would have probably quoted some song lyrics about being misunderstood and told you I didn’t need anything or anyone to achieve my dream of becoming a Hollywood actress…enough said. Nothing annoyed me more than the shroud of adults around me giving me advice and critiquing my choices because obviously I had it figured out so it was absolute insanity to think I needed help. Except now, not only do I see the value in the advice I was being given (and now seek), I see the value in the intent behind it. The people in my life who truly care give me the hard truths and wisdom because they believe I am smart enough to do something with it, not because they think I'm too stupid to figure it out myself.

Now in the moment, it’s not always easy to see the intention and the meaning behind someone’s words when they’re critiquing me, because I usually start singing “Miss Independent” by Kelly Clarkson in my head rather than hear them out, but afterward I reflect on it and I think I have thus mastered the language of cliché’d advice. So today just call me Rosetta Stone, because I’m about to break this language down. Except you are getting this knowledge for free and it could very well be extremely inaccurate. Maybe just call me "The Learning Annex" or something. Plus in an attempt to see what she looks like, I just remembered Rosetta Stone isn't a person, but a stone.

My simplified versions of the classics

“Practise makes perfect/if at first you don’t succeed, try again”
Translation: “I believe you have what it takes to be great, and I don’t want you to miss out on greatness because you’re frustrated.”

This was one of the ones that annoyed me the most, especially because my parents, teachers, or coaches only seemed to pull this one out when I was most frustrated and the last thing I wanted to do was keep going. But what made me pass chemistry despite my absolute suckage with numbers? Going in every day after school for help. Re-writing all of my tests for a better grade. What lead me to later be a straight A student in University? Hours of studying. Reading and re-reading my notes in between every exam. And even though I used to like people’s 3 year old instagram pictures and completely embarrass myself, that did not stop me from being the ultimate instagram stalker I am today. Here’s a cliché from ME: the skills, jobs, and opportunities worth having take work and commitment. The adults around me just didn't want to see me lose out on kicking ass just because it wasn't easy, and I am so happy they kept nagging.

“Keep making that face and it’ll get stuck like that.”
Translation: “…” Ok wait.

Though a lot of the classic adult lines worked, this is one of the few I have later examined and just been thoroughly unimpressed with. I mean technically, the translation would be “I’m sick of looking at your pouty face”. But please, pouts are in, and unless I was making the face of a fabulous and beautiful queen, my face did NOT get stuck like anything. *The face pictured right was drawn as an illustration for this quote-- cool huh?! It was drawn by my good friend @longwoolsocks on instagram. Give her art a look-- she has a wicked artistic style.

“If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”

Translation: “I know you’re a kind, honest person, and if you leave the nasty things left unsaid, people won’t think otherwise.”

Boy, do I wish I listened to this one. People all around me tried very hard to teach me not to confuse honesty with maliciousness, but I was too hard correcting grammar on facebook and telling everyone I hated them to hear it. I’m still proud of the fact that I’m a pretty straight shooter and I can tell it like it is, but I’ve learned the time and place for telling people when I don’t like something/someone isn’t as common as I figured. Don’t get me wrong, I still throw shade where it’s needed, but my new strategy is just to do it by myself, flip my hair, and carry on with my day. I don't say anything at all. I haven’t been called a bitch in SO long! It works!

“Nothing good happens after (insert your curfew time here).”

Translation: “I lay awake when you’re out because I’m worried about you being in a situation when things get out of hand.”

Okay parents, close your ears. Everyone else—want to know what happened the first time I stayed out past my curfew? I lost my virginity (yes it was to my boyfriend but it was NOT romantic), my best friend puked all over herself, and the party I was at broke out in countless fights. Since I was so well informed by common media, I figured I’d be riding around a limo and sipping champagne at 4am. Instead, I ended up the worst night and worst party experience I had in high school. The fact is that my parents were once teens too, and they knew exactly how long it takes a party to get ridiculous, so as people who care for me, they didn’t want me there when that happened. Plus, even though it felt like I was being majorly oppressed at the time, just a few years later I moved to a huge city and lived in a building full of 18 year olds with free transit to any club in the city. Guess who was always the first to grab a hot dog and get in a cab home by 2am while her friends were grinding with assholes that gave them 6-digit phone numbers the next morning?

I didn’t want to hear the advice I was given when it was being given to me, but the difference between my life being a mess and a remarkable sparkling mess is that I’ve embraced the fact that I am one, so advice is greatly appreciated. Thanks so much for reading, please suggest a mess, and don’t forget to sparkle!

xox